Good Gods, this is awful. What is this feeling that won’t let me breathe?
You love him,I think.There’s no walking away from that.
Closing the library doors behind me, I climb down the stairs and walk through the temple, my steps echoing.
Here I come, bearing no good news, bringing nothing that can save you, Roane, nothing that can cure you.
I wipe impatiently at my eyes. Enough weeping already. Enough with doubting and carrying all this guilt and fear.
Ardruna pads out of the nest to meet me. “Did you get it?”
“No.” I follow her into the nest area, this little found family’s home, to find Roane lying on top of the furs, Talton standing by his head. “I didn’t.”
“Fuck,” Ardruna growls.
Roane’s lashes lift. “Ellin. You’re back.” His voice is barely audible and my throat constricts.
“I don’t have the antidote,” I whisper. “The egrets wouldn’t let me approach.”
Talton croaks. “No. You have to go back and get it. Aline, you have to go back?—”
“Shush, Tal.” Roane props himself up on his elbows, long black strands sticking to his pale neck and face. “It’s fine. You have to find a way to get her out of here. When I die, I can’t protect her anymore.”
“You won’t die, Roane,” Talton insists, “she will find the antidote, she will?—”
“You know that won’t happen, Tal.”
He croaks again, flapping his wings. “Don’t say that. I’ll go and get the godsdamned egrets, make them regret the day they hatched?—”
“Hush.” Roane falls back on top of the furs, a grimace on his face. “I never thought I’d go out this way, but it’s all right. Better sooner rather than later.”
Talton hides his head under his black wing and whines.
I press my trembling lips together.
“Sit with me,Ellin,” Roane rasps.
I walk over to the nest and sit down beside him. I pull the furs up to his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dying??”
He draws a rattling breath. “It doesn’t matter.”
But it matters to me.Hematters to me. No matter how I fought, my feelings have only grown deeper.
I want answers, I want more time. I want… “Roane, there has to be another cure. Talton is right, I’ll go find it.”
“It’s too late,” Roane breathes. “Kiss me for the last time.”
Fighting a sob, I do. I kiss his lips, tasting the salt of my tears. Another sob escapes me and I don’t care if I seem weak. It feels like I’m dying, too.
“Roane.” Talton spreads his wings over Roane’s head. “Roane, you can’t leave us.”
“You have each other,” Roane whispers, stroking my cheek. His hand falls back to his chest. “You will be fine.”
Ardruna lays her head on top of the furs, blue eyes half-closing. “Roane…”
“You’re my brother,” Talton says. “I’d give my life for you.” And then, impossibly, Talton weeps, too. Crystal tears fall from his eyes and splash on Roane’s face.
For a long moment, I sit there, stunned.Wait… wait. How?
