He held up a hand. “None of that. Let us not do that.” He let out a breath. “So, Caroline Bingley.”
“Bennet,” I said. “Her name is Bennet now.”
“And her husband came to you to ask if—”
“No, no,” I said. “She came to me herself asking for my, erm, assistance.”
“Youarea lucky blackguard!” He glared at me. “How is that you get women throwing themselves at you when you are such a snail?”
“I am not a snail,” I muttered. “You know, I am regretting the fact that I ever invited you here in the first place.”
He laughed.
“It really isn’t any of my affair. I have nothing I need to do for Mrs. Bennet. I certainly don’t need to assist you in the business of getting under women’s skirts. I regret all of this.”
He shrugged. “Well, I’m here, aren’t I? Might as well see what can be done.”
I sighed. “You are willing, then?”
“Let me get a look at her,” he said.
“Oh, you would reject her if she was too plain, then?”
He thought about it. “No, actually, I suppose not. Fine, yes, I shall go and get cleaned up for dinner. She will be at dinner?”
“I suppose you must allow me to speak to her about it all—”
“I think not,” he said. “No, I do not wish to hear how you would broach this subject. If I am to seduce Mr. Bennet’s wife, please leave that to me.”
“As you will,” I said. I hoped this was not going to be a disaster.
Richard spent the entire dinner staring at Caroline, who barely noticed him, other than to say that she had not been aware that the colonel would be visiting.
“Yes, well, here he is,” I said, feeling a bit awful about this, rather like some sort of tawdry madam of a bawdyhouse, arranging things for people. It made my skin crawl. It was beneath me. I should never have resorted to it in the first place.
Caroline dominated the conversation, talking primarily about fans, and how many she thought a woman should have. “There are some women, you see, who have fans made out of the same fabric as every dress, and then they have a fan for each dress, and I feel this is really very wasteful, and also that contrast, truly, contrast is key in the visual enjoyment of an outfit. So, having fans in a few neutrals—white and black, of course, and perhaps brown and gray—whilst also having a fewfans in some key contrasting colors—yellow for blue dresses, for instance—is really quite the way to go, in my opinion.”
She went on this way for the entire dinner.
I said little.
Richard said little.
Georgiana looked entirely bored.
After dinner, Georgiana played the piano and Richard asked Caroline to dance. She was flustered, looking about, saying they could not simply dance on their own, the two of them.
“Why not?” said Richard. “Is that truly your objection, or is it me?”
“No, no, of course not, sir,” she said. “I would not object to a dance with you. That would be frightfully rude.”
But after the dance, she fled to my side and said, “Your cousin is not behaving at all like a proper gentlemen should.”
Yes, I should have intervened before all this happened. “This displeases you? He displeases you?”
“I…” Her cheeks turned pink. “Well, I don’t know if a man has ever been quite the way he is with me. I don’t know if I should complain about it, not entirely, for it is flattering, but I am alarmed, you see, truly alarmed.”
“I wrote to the colonel to ask him to come,” I said. “You said there weren’t many men who knew about your brother and your husband.”
