“Would that I would not have said that stupid thing to Bingley about not finding you handsome,” I said. “That has turned everyone against me, I think, including your brother, at first. And it’s all so foolish, because you are breathtakingly beautiful.”
She scoffed. “That is not why I did not listen to you. Lady Susannah and all her ideas, that women don’t need men, and here I was thinking that I could have whatever I wanted.”
“Well, that does not make sense to me, I must say,” I said. “If you do not need a man, why elope with one?”
Elizabeth laughed softly. “Yes, indeed, quite. I did not need him, though. I thought I should be quite well cared for. I thought I should have the inheritance from Lady Susannah, and I thought I should have my brother looking after me always, andso I did not need to marry anyone. I didn’t do it out of necessity. I simply… I wanted him.”
I could not help but grimace. “You wanted Wickham?”
“He is…” She met my gaze. “Was.”
I looked away.
“Was handsome and charming and pleasing to speak to and look upon. And James and me, we would talk about men in that way, I suppose, and I got used to finding… thinking…” She hunched into her quilt. “It is not that way for women, though. We do not get to pursue men as objects of our pleasure. I should have realized.”
She wanted him for pleasure.
I sat back against the chair of the carriage and looked at her, and I realized perhaps that mademejealous. I did not go after things for my own pleasure, as a general rule.
Even when I tried, I often knew that I could not have them, for propriety dictated otherwise, my responsibilities dictated otherwise. I was not the sort of person who could pursue my own gratification.
“I suppose I have had my own little adventure,” she said with a soft laugh. “It has ended quite, quite badly, which is a shame, but I suppose I did have it, in the end. I shall be glad of whatever it was that I managed. I only hope I do not destroy everyone along with me.”
I squared my shoulders. “Miss Bennet, I do not see why anyone has to know.”
“What do you mean?” she said.
“I mean that your brother keeps a secret that could destroy your whole family, and it is ongoing. Concealing that this happened should be a quite easy task.” After all, I had concealed it when it happened to my sister, though it had not been nearly this bad, I had to admit.
“Easy?” she said. “I have been gone overnight. I shall be returning on the second day very late, in a carriage with two men, without a chaperone. I left a letter. All of the servants must know. My father and brother are still gone, looking for me. I do not think it can be concealed.”
I considered this. She was correct, that was quite a lot of elements to suppress.
“It’s good of you, Mr. Darcy, to want to try,” she said. “I am sorry that I judged you the way that I did. I have heard from James what you say happened with Wickham’s inheritance. I am inclined to believe you and not him.”
“I shall not let you be ruined, Miss Bennet,” I said.
“I have told you, I shan’t be. James will make Mr. Bingley marry me.”
“But you can’t marry Bingley,” I said. “If you went off on this little excursion in the pursuit of pleasure, you must know he cannot give it to you.”
Her eyes were shining. “Well, it was quite foolish of me to have done that, was it not, sir?”
CHAPTER TEN
We arrived at Longbourn to find that both Mr. Bennets had arrived before us. They had been expecting us, having been to the inn and gotten the story from the innkeeper.
Miss Bennet’s father pulled her out of the carriage and embraced her and she sniffled into his shoulder, apologizing over and over, and he soothed her hair and told her that she was all right now, that she was all right.
I took Miss Bennet’s brother aside and asked him about concealing it. “Certainly there must be some way to keep this a secret, especially since nothing happened. You must be quite adept at keeping secrets.”
“Well, it’s very late,” said Mr. Bennet, “and I don’t have the clearest mind at this point, but I do see what it is you are saying. Maybe it’s possible.”
“For the love of all that is holy, you cannot marry her to Bingley,” I said.
He raised his eyebrows. “As solutions go, that’s not a terrible one. And Bingley and I have discussed it, of course, marrying each other’s sisters. It wouldn’t be like getting married ourselves, but it would mean we could be all together easily.”
“You marrying Caroline Bingley,” I said. “That seems a wretched thing to do, even to her.”
