“Never,” I said curtly.
“I see,” she said. “Good for you, then. There are men out there who would saddle a sister or daughter with a man who is horrid just because he has taken advantage.”
“That man does not get my sister. I don’t care what he does to her,” I said darkly.
“This makes me like you more, I must say.”
“Oh, good,” I said. “I wish you to like me.”
“You don’t entirely behave like a man who wishes to be liked.”
I groaned. “No, I know.”
“So, this is why you’re here, to convince Bingley to marry your ruined sister.”
I groaned again.
“Does he know she’s ruined?”
“Look, she’s not… nothing happened.”
“Oh,” said Elizabeth in a knowing voice.
“Well, I don’t know what happened,” I said in a low voice. “He says the worst. She says absolutely nothing happened, andthe woman I hired as a companion, she agrees with my sister, but she would say that she had protected my sister’s virtue, because I had charged her to do so. She has a vested interest in lying, as does my sister.”
“But that man has a vested interest in lying, too, I suppose,” said Elizabeth. “He is hunting her fortune. I suppose she has quite a dowry.”
“Indeed,” I said. “Such a commonplace sort of situation in the end, is it not?” I groaned once more.
“And Bingley doesn’t know any of it?”
“I don’t think I wish him to marry my sister,” I said. “I perhaps thought I did. I thought that it would be best for her, because he would be grateful for her, because of her pedigree, not simply because of her money, so that if he ever found out, he… but I don’t like him for her, not a jot.” And this, I realized was the real reason I had been so hard on him, had joined with Caroline against him so often, had said the things that I had said to him, only the day before, about his not being a particularly dependable person. It was because I knew that I could not marry Georgiana to this man.
“Oh,” said Elizabeth.
“But if I’m not going to do that, what am I doing? Why have I spent all of the summer and all of the autumn in his company, as if we are the fastest of friends? Why have I abandoned all my expectations in order to travel with him? How shall I make an accounting of it?” I sighed. “On the other hand, no one was going to understand when I let him marry my sister anyway—”
“Not unless he seemed to be your fast friend, I suppose?”
“How you see through me, madam,” I said soberly.
“No, only because I know all. You are correct, it would have protected her reputation, and I can see why you schemed it all out. It’s a great deal of effort to go through for one’s sister, especially when she has behaved badly.”
“It wasn’t her fault,” I said. “It was that man. It was him.”
“I see,” she said. “All right, then, Mr. Darcy, I do like you. I think you are actually quite a good man, willing to sacrifice for those you care about. I see you better now.”
I felt warmed by this, physically warmed even. I noticed that I had ceased to shiver now that I was under this blanket.
“And,” she said, “it’s much easier for me if you aren’t set upon Mr. Bingley marrying your sister, of course, since I have sworn myself to secrecy about all of this, and since Jane may have some attachment to him.”
“Oh,” I said, as if this hadn’t quite occurred to me, though of course Bingley’s favor towards Miss Jane Bennet had been quite obvious. “You would wish that for your sister, I suppose. Your entire family would wish it.”
“I only wish Jane to be happy,” said Elizabeth. “I do not think this any kind of courtship, her sick and abed, him forced to be her host. It creates an illusion of intimacy, but no true intimacy has been chosen. If a connection continues between them after this, then I should support it, but only if it is what Jane wants.”
“I see,” I said softly. I had to admit I recoiled a bit at the idea of Bingley married off and into the Bennet family of all families. But was this because I wished him to be available, in case I changed my mind and wanted him for Georgiana, or because I bore disdain for the Bennet family, and if so, how much disdain could it really be when I had been contemplating marrying Elizabeth Bennet myself?
Well, no, I had not truly been contemplating it. It had been a fever dream borne of the frustration of being stuck in this house, that was all.
