He gave me a sharp look. “What are you saying?”
“Nothing,” I said, shrugging. “You say you wish to wait for marriage, and I find that very admirable. It is only, we are not ever going to get married, not to anyone. We are going to keep living this Thursday over and over. So, unless there’s a way we can fix ourselves, there’s no point in waiting.”
His jaw twitched. He blew out a huff of air.
Then he walked off, leaving me there.
“Where are you off to?” I called after him.
“Getting us a carriage,” he called back. “Let’s go back to Rosings.”
fitzwilliam
The thing about a carriage, of course, is that it needs a driver. There were no drivers ready at midnight in the stables of Tiewater Hall.
Horses, though, plenty of horses, and plenty of saddles, including side saddles.
We had a long and heated discussion about her riding a horse.
She protested a great many times that she was not afraid of horses, and I said that if that was the case, she shouldn’t be frightened of riding a horse, then, and she said that she didn’t understand why we were even going back to Rosings, that we were just giving up, and I said that I didn’t know where else to go, and what did she want us to do, anyway?
No reason to wait, she had said.
Damnation.
Finally, she convinced me that we could take the carriage and drive it together. “When I was a girl, I used to sit up with our driver, and he taught me how to move the reins,” she said. “I’m sure I can do it.”
“So, we are stealing a carriage,” I said. “And four horses.”
“Oh, Will, it will all reset!”
“But we could just as easily ride horses,” I said.
“I hate you,” she told me. “I hate you ever so much.”
This stung.
She hung her head. “Iamafraid of horses, all right?”
Obviously, I knew she was afraid. Why was I being so awful about it?
“Please?” She rubbed her forehead. “Please, don’t make me get on a horse.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. I don’t know why I was being so horrid to you. We’ll take the carriage.”
She looked up at me. “We could stay. Go to the ball again tonight.”
I thought about that. It might be more convenient than going all the way back to Rosings.
“I promise not to fill up my dance card this time,” she said in a small voice. “I shan’t leave you all alone when you are shy and frightened of new people. No wonder you—”
“Now, see here, I’m not frightened ofpeople,” I said.
“All right, of course not,” she said, smiling up at me.
“It’s not the same,” I said and I reached down and took hold of her hand for no reason that made any sense. My voice gentled. “I’m not frightened of people the way you’re frightened of horses.”
“No?” she said.
