Charlotte was standing in front of me, hands on her hips. Mr. Collins was behind her, rubbing his chin in consternation.
Mr. Darcy sat up, groggy. “Oh, dear.”
“It’s fine,” I said to him. “Apparently, going to sleep does not reset the day. It must just reset at some set time.”
“Maybe midnight?” he said. “Do you think midnight?”
“Could be,” I said. “We would need to—”
“Elizabeth, this is highly improper,” Charlotte said carefully.
“Oh, yes,” said Mr. Darcy, sighing. “Don’t you worry, Mrs. Collins, obviously, we’re getting married.”
I glared at him. “What?”
“We’re asleep together on a bench, and I have my hands all over you. You are compromised, and I am marrying you. It’ll all reset tomorrow.”
I sighed. “Yes, it will, so why say anything at all?”
“Are you… all right?” said Charlotte.
Mr. Darcy shrugged at her. “She doesn’t like me. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
Charlotte’s lips parted.
“Oh, heavens, Mr. Darcy,” I said.
“So, she’s not the least bit pleased to be trapped in this marriage with me, but… Elizabeth darling—I may call you Elizabeth, mayn’t I?—you must think of your family’s reputation.” He was smiling at me.
I pressed my lips together.
His smile widened. “Oh, I know! Let’s go tell my aunt. That’d be quite a bit of fun.”
I narrowed my eyes. “If you’re going to call me Elizabeth, certainly I can call you some kind of familiar name, yes?” Then I smiled at him. “How about Willie?”
He raised his eyebrows. “I see.”
“Yes, Wee Willie Darcy and I are to be married,” I said, getting up from the bench.
“Now, really, that’s a bit… do you even know what thatmeans?”
I stalked off, rolling my eyes.
“Elizabeth,” said Charlotte, falling into step with me, “if you don’t wish to marry Mr. Darcy, you can refuse him. But if you don’t like him why were you sleeping like that with him, all draped on him in that way? I’m very confused.”
Mr. Collins cleared his throat. “You know, I think this is all quite sudden, don’t you?”
Mr. Darcy hurried after us. “I assure you, Elizabeth, there’s nothing small about my, erm… Dash everything.”
I walked faster. “I, for one, am not really eager to hear Lady Catherine’s reaction to the happy news. I think I have a headache, in fact. I think I need to go back to my bed and nap.”
“Fine,” called Mr. Darcy after me. “We’ll tell her at tea.”
“Certainly we’ll sleep through tea,” I said.
He shrugged, yawning. “Well, assuming I do not sleep through tea, I shall be there.”
I groaned, walking even faster in the direction of the parsonage.
