Ivy caught the selfish thought and banished it. Cora and Elsie were happy and fulfilled following their long-held dreams—and for that to keep happening, they needed to live in town.Admitting to any loneliness would only worry Cora.
After taking the men their cups of coffee and Jewel a glass of milk, as well as slices of cake for all of them, the three drank their tea and ate their own pieces at the kitchen table. Elsie described some of Delia’s and baby Andrea’s new outfits. Cora talked about the rigors of living on the prairie while awaiting the birth of her patient’s baby. “Not at all like being alone in beautiful Three Bend Lake,” she said with a languid wave of her hand. “The prairie is so dreary. I thought I’d go out of my mind with boredom.”
Elsie gave a vigorous nod. “Except in springtime. If you know where to look to find the wildflowers, the prairie is a beautiful place. Even so,” she said fervently, “I’d rather be in town.”
Cora went on to describe Delia’s laying-in. Those at the house had been almost as concerned Andre Bellaire would have another heart attack due to his worry as they were about Delia’s labor. Luckily, mother, baby, and grandfather emerged from the ordeal in good health. “I declare that child will never learn to walk. She’s always in someone’s arms.”
Not at all fooled by Cora’s teasing tone, Ivy poked her arm. “Including yours, I’m sure.”
“Even Brian’s.” Cora’s eyes grew dreamy. “Seeing him with Andrea, with Jewel…” She let out a happy sigh. “My children will have a wonderful father.”
Ivy thought of Torin, of the loving father he was to Jewel, and, for a moment, she fantasized of the three of them as a family, along with more children.At least two, a boy and a girl.
But too many obstacles lay in the way. Today’s socializing had given her a new awareness.Even if he loved me and wanted to wed, I wouldn’t be willing to raise my children secretly in Three Bend Lake.
16
Torin sat with Hank in the rockers on the porch, mugs in their hands, the bitter scent of coffee combining with the smell of the lake borne on the breeze. The water shimmered below, and somewhere in the trees, a woodpecker drummed its staccato rhythm against a trunk.
Inside the house, he could hear the ladies chattering in the kitchen, while in the parlor, Brian read a new book he’d brought for Jewel. His friend would stop at a word and help his daughter sound out the letters. Then she’d triumphantly shout the word.
Hank stretched his legs and crossed his ankles. For a while, they sat in companionable silence. Then he turned his head, his expression shifting from lazy contentment to something more pointed. “So… You going to tell me, or do I have to guess?”
Torin kept his gaze on the lake, his expression impassive, so as not to give away any hint of possible feelings. “Tell you what?”
“Don't play dumb, brother. Doesn't suit you.” Hank rocked back his chair and folded his arms. “The governess.”
“What about her?”
“She's pretty.”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
Hank let the chair rock forward with a thump. “Youhadn’t noticed.Not like you to lie to me. Toyourself, yes. But not to us.”
He stiffened. “She’s my employee.”
“Uh-huh.” Hank's grin was wide and knowing, the grin of a man who'd wrestled his own slow-burn courtship to the ground and pinned his gal—albeit with a long timeline—to a wedding date.
A denial rose in Torin's throat and died there. As he’d just proven, Hank wasn’t a man you could lie to—not because he was perceptive in the scholarly sense, but because he’d survived loneliness the same way Torin had, and he recognized its symptoms. But he also worked hard with a goal to ameliorate his isolation, find a wife, and, in the future, start a family.
“It doesn’t matter what I feel.” The words came out harsher than Torin intended. “Ivy came here for Jewel. She’s here to teach my daughter, not to…” He stopped.
“Not to what?”
Not to save me. Not to make me feel things I swore I’d never feel again. Not to sit in my parlor every evening with her mending, or reading, or her music and her quiet, steady presence banishing the silence that used to crush me. And I wasn’t even aware of how much.“It’s complicated.”
“Love usually is.”
The wordlovehit like a hurled stone. He threw up a hand as if to block. “Don’t.”
Hank held up his hands in surrender. “All right, all right. I’ll leave it. But I’ll say just one thing.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his brown eyes serious. “I hate to see you denying yourself happiness.”
Torin forced a smile. If he admitted the truth—that he wasn’t good enough for Ivy, didn’t trust he could ultimately make her happy—Hank would spout off another lecture. So he remained silent, listening to the woodpecker drumming on.
The surrey was loaded,the last goodbyes and final instructions drawn out as long as time permitted, and then a little longer. Torin couldn’t help but think how loud the silence would resound when they left.
Cora hugged Ivy four separate times, both of them tearing up.
