I was neverone of those girls who dreamed of what her special day would look like. I didn’t have vision boards with pretty dresses and color swatches and flower arrangements. When you’re told from the time you can walk that you’ll be used as a bargaining chip andgivento a man to further the success of your father’s organization, the romance of a wedding is stripped away from you.
I have to admit, as I stand here in the bridal room of the church and stare at the dress hanging on the mirror, it’s ... horrible. I don’t know who chose it. I certainly didn’t. I never set foot in a dress shop, so I have no idea if this monstrosity will fit or how it’ll look on my hourglass frame. I have boobs and hips, so sometimes things don’t fit quite right.
Mostly, as I stare at the lace and crystals before me, I’m wondering if there’s something in this room I can use to kill myself.
Yeah, I said it.
The hair and makeup people have left me alone, and despair overwhelms me. I barely left my rooms at my father’s house since Julian dropped me off there the other night after the fiascoat Rapture. I kept to myself, sneaking down for meals, and then right back upstairs because my poor body needed time to heal. In anunexpectedturn of events, my father did come to me this morning and gifted me my grandmother’s necklace. I finger the pendant as I stare at my dress, caught in memories of the only person who’s ever shown me any kind of affection.
She was a wonderful woman, and I remember her wearing this little emerald pendant. There are tiny diamonds around the substantially sized emerald, and I love it so much. I’ll wear it all the time.
I have no idea what to expect tonight, and I spent the past few days coming to terms with the fact that I’m marrying a monster.
That my body is no longer my own.
I haven’t heard from Elliott since that night. No apology texts, no flowers, nothing. Which is actually good because all I’ve done is have panic attacks at the thought of marrying that ... devil.
Elliott Stavros is evil.
I know that Julian assured me that Elliott wouldn’t hurt me again, but he can’t make that promise because he won’t live with us. He won’t be there 24-7 to protect me.
And the thought of living with Elliott makes me feel hollow. I’d honestly rather die than have to live with being raped and brutalized every day for the rest of my life.
There’s a knock on the door, and then Lulu pokes her head in, but she’s not smiling.
“Why are you alone?” she asks me as she steps inside and closes the door behind her.
“They finished my hair and makeup,” I tell her, watching her warily. “Is everyone here?”
“I haven’t seen Elliott yet, but everyone else is, yeah. Your father looks ... angry.”
“He always looks angry.”
She nods and then gestures to the dress. “Want help?”
I pause.
“Or do you want me to get you the fuck out of here?” she offers. “Because I will. Rome won’t let anyone hurt me.”
I can’t help the little humorless chuckle at the offer. “I wish it was that simple. They’d just find me and make me do it anyway. And my father would punish me, and I’d rather not.”
She nods, as if she understands, and it makes me feel alittlebetter.
Suddenly, there’s another knock, much harsher than Lulu’s, and the door is flung open, revealing my father.
“Why aren’t you ready? It’s time.”
“We were just talking,” I tell him, and he glares at Lulu, putting my back up.
She’s my friend.
“Did you know that arranged marriages are from the Dark Ages?” Lulu asks him, not afraid of him at all.
I wish I had her confidence.
“This is none of your fucking business,” Papa replies, narrowing his eyes, and he moves to take a step toward her, but I shield her with my own body.
“No.” His eyes widen in surprise. I’veneverstood up to my father. “You won’t hurt her for speaking up for me. She’s my friend, Papa.”
