And I missed them too.
I just don’t know how much I can trust them.
“I hate how your light has been snuffed out,” Lulu says softly, and tears fill her eyes. She sniffs as she watches me, and then a tear glides down her cheek. “You look so ... sad. Something must have happened to make him act the way he did, Natasha. Because I can fucking guarantee you that the man loves you.”
I bark out a laugh, the first one since before I got sick. “No, he definitely doesn’t love me. He just didn’t want me to die. There’s a difference.”
“He touches you and looks at you like he loves you,” Scarlett says. “Also, if you still don’t know why he kicked you out in the first place, you need to ask him.”
“A dutiful wife doesn’t ask questions,” I reply, my voice sounding hollow to my own ears. “She keeps quiet and does as she’s told.”
“Oh, fuck that sideways,” Lulu said, shaking her head. “Absolutely fucking not. That’s not how it works in this family.”
“I’m not a part of this family.” God, those words hurt.
Suddenly, both women are on my lounge chair, and I’m hugged between them.
“Don’t ever say that,” Scarlett says, with tears of her own. “You’re absolutely part of this family. Julian fucked up so bad, but don’t punish all of us for it. Lu and I didn’t have anything to do with it.”
All I’ve ever wanted in my life was to be included, to feel loved and be part of a close family. My parents are assholes and treated me like shit.
But this, these women, is where I was finally starting to feel like I fit in.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I finally say and pat them gingerly on the back. “And it wasn’t my fault. But you need to understand that he made me feel like I didn’t deserve the friendships, or the life I was starting to carve out here. He just shut it all down and discarded me like I could be replaced with the snap of his fingers.”
“We tried to find you,” Lu says and sweeps my hair back from my face, then wipes her thumb over my cheek, brushing away tears I didn’t realize were falling. “Scar and I learned some hacking tricks, and we tried to find your phone, but it was dead or turned off, and we couldn’t locate you.”
“We sent hundreds of messages,” Scarlett adds. “Tried to call. It was so damn frustrating. We would have helped you.”
Now that the tears have started, for the first time since I woke up with the fever finally gone, I can’t make them stop. I finally break and tell them everything because Ineedthem.
“I don’t know what to do,” I say at last. “This was an arranged marriage. It’s not real. I knew that from the beginning, but I let myself fall in love with all of you. I let myselffit infor the first time in my life, and I was finally finding my voice. I was so happy. I had everything I ever wanted, and I’m not talking about money.”
“Trust me, I totally understand,” Lu says with an encouraging nod.
“Same,” Scarlett agrees.
“And then I had that fucking lunch with my father, and he made me question everything. He broke me down, verbally beat me back into that quiet, mousy woman who does what she’s told. Who stays quiet.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Lulu says, brushing her fingers through my hair softly.
“And when I got back here that day, I just wantedmy husband. Because my dad had told me that Julian would eventually toss me away when he was finished with me, and all kinds of shit that I would have sworn were lies just said to hurt me. I wanted to tell Julian about it and have him hug me and reassure me.”
I swallow hard and take a breath because I’m crying and talking at the same time, and it’s not easy.
“But his face.” The last word is said on a shaky whisper. “He was so cold. So fucking angry. The Mafia king was back, and my husband was long gone. He told me I no longer lived here, warned me he’d kill me if he ever saw me again. When I fell, I broke my wrist, but he didn’t pause long enough for me to speak or cry, or anything. And then I was taken away.”
I’m a blubbering, snotty mess. I can’t even get the rest of the story out. I can’t tell them about the sleazy motel, or hurting my hand. Those delirious days of being so sick, I didn’t know reality from dreams.
And finally, when the tears have slowed down, Scarlett wipes my face with her shirt and kisses my cheek.
“We’re right here,” she says softly. “No matter what.”
“Always,” Lu agrees. “Elliott found you?”
“Yeah. Fuck, I was scared. And so sick. I didn’t think he followed me back to where I was staying, but he must have. I don’t really remember much after that.”
“Thank fuck they found you.” Lu and Scarlett hug me, and we sit like this for a long time, snuggled up together, watching the breeze blow through the flowers and the birds flit around.
