You’re going to be a father, Rogov.
That’s a big fucking responsibility.
Bigger than the Bratva.
Snapping myself back into reality, I watch as the nurse spreads the gel across Lauren’s skin, then moves the probe, inspecting the screen. I watch along with her, trying to search for something that might take the form of a baby amongst all of the unusual black and white imaging.
The nurse shifts the probe once more.
A heartbeat fills the room.
For the first time today, Lauren looks at me, her eyes widening.
“There,” says the nurse, pointing a finger to the screen. “Say hello to your baby.”
Bozhe moy.
I didn’t plan for this to hit me as hard as it does. Of course, twelve weeks into the pregnancy, there’s not much to look at, but I can just about work out where the head and the torso are. Lauren and I share a look, and I can see tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
My heart rate picks up too. This only makes me want to be closer to her.
To establish something solid between us. It only fuels my desire to rid myself of this Aslanov problem once and for all, so that Lauren can birth this child into the world in peace, without danger looming over us.
“Everything looks good.” The nurse turns to Lauren. “Would you like to know the gender?”
Lauren nods, and the nurse prints off a document, tucking it into an envelope.
“Here you go.” She winks, handing the envelope to Lauren. “Have a wonderful day.”
We leave the building and make our way to the car in silence, only exchanging a few stolen glances. By the time we’re back in the car, my heart is pounding erratically in my chest.
I turn to Lauren. She sits in the passenger seat clutching the envelope harder than necessary, staring at it.
“Are you ready?”
She nods, eyeing the envelope for another minute before ripping it open. She takes the document out with shaking hands, her eyes frantically scanning the page for the part that she’s been waiting for. Then, she sucks in a sharp breath and slaps her hand over her mouth.
I raise my eyebrow, waiting.
“It’s a girl.”
Her smile is contagious and I can’t help but grin. She flings her arms around me, sniffing against my neck as we rock back and forth for a while breathing each other in. With my head pressed to her temple, I feel her soaring pulse.
She releases a breath, taking her hands away. “We’re having a girl, Niko,” She says it again as a whisper, like she’s trying to make sense of this revelation. A hand rests on her lower abdomen, another small laugh leaving her lips.
I watch her smiling, as tears begin to stream down her face. There’s no doubt, this means a lot to her, and fuck me if I don’t feel the same way.
Blyad.
You’re going to be a father, mudak.
To a baby girl.
I can’t help but feel blessed that Lauren is going to be the mother of my child. As fiery and stubborn as she is, she makes the world a better place, turning the air sweet wherever she goes. She walks into every room with confidence. A young girl needs a mother like Lauren to look up to.
Sometimes, she reminds me of my own mother. She wasn’t a quitter either, and exuded self-assurance in every room she walked into. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to her so much.
And with a child on the way, it feels like I have a purpose in life.
