Keep telling yourself that.
Admittedly, he’s a very good-looking guy who knows his way around the bedroom, but that’s about it. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to him. It’s been over three weeks already and time is supposed to be the biggest healer. But not for me, apparently. A small part of me wishes he was still around, lurking in the shadows. Some nights when I’m sitting on my couch digging into the archives of Watson and Co. Holdings, trying to put puzzle pieces together, I find myself hoping that he’s behind me, watching.
But he’s not.
He must have grown bored of trying to stop me.
It’s a shame, really. His presence brought something exciting into my life that I can’t explain. I’m drawn to him like a moth to a flame and I just can’t explain why. I have had a coupleof boyfriends; I even had a stupid one-night-stand once, but no one compares to Nikolai Rogov.
I felt feral with him, and his cock reached places inside of me that no man has gone before. It’s no surprise he’s the lucky guy that knocked me up. He was so big that the tip was probably in my womb.
Shit, what are you thinking, Lauren?
I hate to admit it, and I will never admit it aloud, not to Sophia and certainly not to Nikolai, but there’s something inexplicable pulling me towards him. Something cosmic. Something even stronger than my will. When you’re sexually drawn to someone of the opposite gender, it usually means you like them.
But I don’t like the man. I’m just drawn to him like a compass needle to the magnetic north—helpless, inevitable, and completely against my better judgment.
And now, I’m carrying his baby.
I take a moment longer in the bathroom to fix up my appearance, and then head back to the doctor’s office, dazed. It feels like a dream. Like I’m floating through life instead of living it.
Actions have consequences, I suppose.
What would be the consequence of telling Nikolai?
Does he even deserve to know?
The doctor immediately registers my expression, typing the positive results into the computer. “In three weeks’ time, pay the hospital a visit for an ultrasound.”
I open my mouth to protest, to ask what makes him assume I'm keeping the baby, but at the last minute, I change my mind. I nod, thank the doctor, and leave, blowing out a breath when I exit the building.
The sun blinds me, the warmth of it hitting me with another dose of realization.
Pregnant.
Fucking knocked up.
What about work? Do I tell Father?
I silence the thoughts and try to get myself to think logically. Sophia needs telling first. She’s the only person I trust.
I slip out my phone and type out a text.
“Are you free to meet?”
The response comes in less than a minute.
“Yeah, I can come over to yours now.”
Thank God. I’m relieved that, despite being married to a dangerous Bratva criminal, I can still count on my bestie when I need her.
I pocket my phone and head to the parking lot. It’s empty, the late afternoon sun casting shadows onto the pavement. I glance at my watch, surprised to see the time nearing 5 PM.
Jesus.
How long was I freaking out in the bathroom for?
I scan my surroundings. Seeing nobody around, I quicken my pace, something uneasy crawling into my gut. Maybe another wave of nausea, but this one feels different. It’s the feeling of being watched. My body seems to sense when somebody is lurking, just like it did when Nikolai visited me.
