Chapter 1
Trinity
When I look at the brilliant azure sky domed above, a single white dove flies free in the wind.That’s me,I realize with a bittersweet twinge. After being cooped up here for four and a half years, today I fly free from Aurelian University with my BA in psychology.
I just need to get through thisceremony first. Balloons, banners, and signs in both green and white deck out the college football field. Proud, supportive families pack the stands, and the AstroTurf brims with bright-eyed graduates like myself.
The sea of black caps and gowns is easy to disappear in. Among the dozens of students who make up the winter semester’s graduating class, I’m completely invisible.
I sit quietly in my seat—second from the left, third row back from the stage—my eyes focused on the small box in my lap. Beneath my chair, my heels bounce a hectic tango. While we’re enjoying a warm, picture-perfect December day in California, I couldn’t be more eager to leave this arena.
Dr. Pruit, Aurelian’s near-ancient Dean of Students, prattles on and on about the school’s esteemed history and the path we’ve all walked to get here. White curls stick out at wild anglesbeneath his cap, framing the wrinkles and age spots that line his face. His voice shakes like a baby rattle.
I like him. The few times we’ve spoken, he’s always been kind, and on any other occasion, I’d love to hear his speech. Right now, though, I wish he’d just get on with the program.
All around me, I imagine my fellow students are considering their futures.
The graduation celebrations, internships, backpacking trips around Europe, plans to spend quality time at home with their families…
Me?
I’m only worried about the campus post office’s operating hours.
Once this ceremony ends, I’m heading straight there to mail this vital little package to a safe place.
I don’t trust anyone else to accomplish this, and I need to get this precious thing out of my hands as soon as possible.
The timing’s not ideal, but since when have I ever led an ideal life? No, this box is just one tiny bullet point on the exhaustive list of things that have gone wrong over the years.
“Amy Anderson.”
Finally.
The first graduate, a blond tennis star, leaps to her feet as her huge family waves signs with her face on them. The bedazzled tennis rackets they’re swinging around are a real choice.
Amy heads to the stage. The next grad follows, and the next, until a steady stream of people forms.
As we progress, relief burns my chest like a hot coal in water.This will be over soon.
It’s not that I don’t want to be here, exactly.
I’m proud of the fact that I put myself through four and a half years of higher education without having to rely on anyoneelse. Doing something for yourself without a man’s help is sadly a big accomplishment for women in my family, and even though my father offered to cover my education, I declined and used scholarships and grants to pay my own way.
I may have needed an extra semester—switching majors halfway through sophomore year will do that—but I managed, all on my own.
I’d like to think I made the most of my college years. Sure, I was a little more introverted than some of my peers. While I never really “let loose,” I’ve also never felt the need to. Playing the piano in one of the campus music rooms was my idea of unwinding. Occasionally, I’d spend an evening listening to live music at a local bar while sipping a glass of cabernet. Scraping myself off the quad after a drunken night of revelry never held much appeal.
Maybe that’s just my personality, or maybe that’s the side effect of being a mob boss’s daughter. Even though I wasn’t really involved in the “family business,” I learned the importance of keeping my head down and staying out of trouble for the sake of leading some semblance of a normal life early on.
Mounting cheers break my focus as the next student strides toward the stage.
Andrew Benten.Student body president. Editor-in-chief of theAure Review,our prestigious college paper. Honey brown hair. Blue eyes. The boy-next-door everyone wants to either be or be with. He’s the kind of guy who’s always surrounded by supporters and adoring fans, and today’s no exception. The entire graduating class cheers for him like he’s our best friend, myself included. From their premium seats in the stadium, his family glows with pride, and I can’t glance away from them.
The beauty of the moment, of a family cheering at a kid’s college graduation, strikes me in the chest.
I’ll never have that.
Even if my entire family were alive, today still wouldn’t have been likethat.
