Soothed the itch in his blood.
Maybe then he wouldn’t have proposed on the wave of roiling testosterone sloshing through his pent-up body. Maybe he would have thought about something other than his own needs.Thought that using his crisis situation to get his own way would come across as disingenuous.
Manipulative, even.
Idiota! Così stupido!
Why hadn’t he told her he loved her? Why had he been so blind? Trying to keep himself from being hurt again all the while falling deeper and deeper.
Would Peyton have believed him with all her wariness and mistrust of love?
Maybe not. But at least it would have been the truth. Not the excuses he’d been spinning about stability and family values to induce her to say yes.
A steward, seeing him awake, smiled and said, ‘Can I get you anything, sir?’
Valentino smiled and shook his head. ‘No thank you.’ Unless they had a dunce’s cap out back somewhere.
He shut his eyes, willing himself to sleep so he could be in top form when he landed in Brisbane, and he thanked the universe once again that at least his mother was on the road to recovery which was one less thing on his mind. Along with a broken arm and a bang to the head that had produced a shiny black eye and some mild concussion, they’d found a nasty spleen injury when they’d got her on the table.
They’d performed a splenectomy but, at nearly eighty, she’d been a little slow to recover, requiring an extended stay in hospital. Not to mention how frustrated she was with her broken arm hampering her ability to sign. Thankfully she’d rounded the corner and his father and his sisters had everything well in hand for her imminent discharge.
Her recovery might have been slow but her shrewd old eyes had not been as she’d taken one look at him in her hospital bed, pale as a ghost, and signed, ‘Who is she?’
Valentino had chuckled but told her everything in rapid sign language. About Peyton and McKenzie and the baby. She’d asked him point blank if he loved her and he’d been able to say yes with utter conviction.
But hehadn’t been able to confirm Peyton’s feelings forhimbecause he just didn’t know how she felt – certainly not after his ridiculous proposal. Sure, Peyton had hugged him and told him it was okay, but Valentino knew he’d erred.
And that was without her history of protecting her damaged heart.
The truth was, misstep by him or not, he didn’t know if she’d ever allow herself to fall in love again and it wasthatkeeping him awake. Sure, there was something between them – a strong physical attraction. That couldn’t be denied. And he sincerely doubted they’d be able to get through a co-parenting arrangement without occasionally succumbing to said attraction.
But Valentino wanted more than just scraps from her dinner table.
He wanted to be more in her life than just the father of their child. A part-time parent. Someone to scratch the itch when it got too much to bear for both of them. He wanted to love and cherish her. Introduce her to his family as his bride. He wanted to grow old with her.
He’d come a long way since his infatuation with Daniella. The young love he’d felt for her was lightweight compared to this constant, heavy feeling in his chest. It had been impulsive and superficial. It had been skin deep.
Notsouldeep.
What he felt for Peyton reached right down inside. It was complex, multi-faceted. Messy and complicated. Especially in comparison to the easy, carefree time with Daniella.But maturity was a wonderful thing because he now knew sometimes good things didn’t come easily.
Sometimes they had to be fought for.
And that’s what he’d do, no matter how long it took, no matter how much he had to sit on his hands at the side lines of her life. Because loving her was worth it.
Shewas worth it.
Peyton rubbed her back absently as she sat in her office chair and updated the charts from the day’s surgery. It was hard to concentrate when her mind kept drifting to Valentino and the fact that in two weeks she’d received three lousy texts.
One had been to say his mother had undergone an emergency splenectomy. The next had come four days later to say her recovery was slow and he was staying another week or so. And the last a couple of days ago informing her he’d be back some time in the next few days.
Maybe it was her pregnancy hormones making her contrary, and sure, his mother had undergone major surgery and they hadn’t left on the best of terms, but his brevity had felt like a cold shoulder from the other side of the world.
And, truthfully, it hurt.
Worse than with Arnie. Way worse than with Arnie. Because she’d been an infatuated, blind fool with him but she’d walked into this one with her eyes wide open. Flinging open the door to her heart, too – wide open – despite all her misgivings.
And not just her heart but McKenzie’s heart too.
