‘He vomited and he still seems out of sorts.’
Nat could see the indecision on Alessandro’s face, like children in bed had been a no-no in their marriage, butscrew that. ‘He needs you,’ she said gently. ‘There’s no better place than Papa’s bed when you’re sick.’
Alessandro looked at Julian and she watched as his hesitation dissipated. ‘Certo, ragazzo mio, vieni da papà.’
Her Italian may have been rusty but Nat knew enough to know Alessandro had consented, and by the look on Julian’s face, he knew it too. Alessandro lay down on his side, pulling Julian into him, playing the big spoon to his son’s little one. ‘Thank you,’ he mouthed at her as his chin rested on his son’s head and his eyes drifted shut.
Nat watched as Julian’s eyes followed suit but not before he’d tucked his hand in his father’s. They looked like a family. Alessandro, the big protective patriarch, dwarfing his son, holding him close. Julian looked how she must have looked all those years ago, safe in her father’s embrace – content, secure, loved. And her heart filled with an emotion she didn’t want to investigate too closely.
Easing herself off the bed, she took one last lingering look at them before creeping out of the room. Even as she yearned to join them.
It was amazing the difference a few weeks could make, Nat thought as she sat at a distance and watched Alessandro and Julian build a sandcastle together down close to the shoreline. They’d spent the day at Noosa, swimming and playing beach cricket and eating fish and chips at one of the trendy little cafés that lined the boardwalk.
There’d been a real shift ever since Julian had shared his father’s bed that night he’d been unwell. They’d come out of it much closer, like a bond had been forged – newer and stronger.
And they’d blossomed under it, opening to each other a little more each day. Chatter and laughter filled the house now instead of stilted conversation and the loud buzz of longing.
Julian smiled at his father. Sat next to him on the sofa. Sought him out to tell him things. He looked for hugs and went eagerly into his father’s embrace. He’d lost that taut little set to his shoulders. The wary, defeated look that had haunted his features.
And Alessandro stopped looking a hundred years old.
It was heartening to witness and Nat just knew, as the sun beat down on her shoulders, that they were going to be okay. Sure, there would be moments when their grief and sadness would come upon them again, blindside them, but at least now they looked like they’d turn to each other for comfort and support.
At least they’d stopped looking to her for guidance.
‘Nat! Nat!’ Julian yelled, popping his head up from his all-fours position, waving an arm at her. ‘Come and look at what Papa and I built!’
Nat smiled and rose. She’d deliberately taken a back seat over the weeks, pushing the two of them together at every opportunity. It made her heart glad to see father and son doing things together. To see Julian acting like a normal four-year-old. To see Alessandro looking less and less haggard.
But as she walked towards them, their dark, downcast heads together again, beavering away on their creation, she couldn’t deny the tug at her heartstrings and the deep-seated yearning that rose in her chest. She knew it was good, as it should be, but she suddenly felt on the outside.
Lonely.
‘Isn’t it great, Nat?’ Julian enthused as she drew level with them.
Hot stupid tears pricked her eyes and she was glad of her sunglasses. It was great on many, many levels. ‘It’s totally awesome,’ she agreed, ruffling his hair.
Alessandro smiled up at her and winked. He was in a sun-shirt that clung to his torso like a glove and boardies that hugged his butt and thighs like a second skin.
‘Have I said that’s a great bikini yet?’ he asked.
Nat gave a half-laugh despite her heavy heart. ‘Once or twice.’
His lusty eyes laughed at her and stole her breath. They looked like the smoothed, flattened black pebbles on the beach, warmed by the sun and utterly inviting. She wanted to push him back against the sand and have her way with him.
‘Papa and I are going to collect some shells. Can you make sure no one knocks the castle down?’
Nat dragged her shaded gaze away from temptation. She took a breath and tried not to let the well of disappointment rise too high as she was excluded from their plans. It was agoodthing. So good that they were doing stuff together. That Julian wanted to spend time with his father, looked to his father first. A few weeks ago, he would have wanted her.
Itwasgood.
She swallowed. ‘Absolutely, I shall guard it with my life.’
‘Come on, Papa,’ Julian said as he picked up the bright blue bucket and marched towards the lapping ocean.
Alessandro vaulted upwards, his gaze tracking his son’s meandering path. ‘You’d better wear that bikini to bed tonight,’ he murmured, before moving off to follow Julian.
The next day they were all making popcorn in preparation for a movie afternoon. Julian had chosen a Disney classic to start with and was excited to get started.
