Nat had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. ‘Don’tasknext time.’ Hell, it wasn’t rocket science.
He glanced at her swiftly, his mouth a flat slash as their eyes met. ‘I’m trying not to push him too hard.’
She opened her mouth to tell him that it was okay to push a little in some situations but Julian bustled into the room and she tore her gaze from Alessandro’s.
‘Nat! Oh, Nat! You’re here. You’re really still here!’
Julian launched himself at her, throwing his arms around her legs and squashing his cheek against her thigh. She laughed as she hugged his little body to her legs. ‘Of course, silly. I can’t leave until my house is built!’
She grinned and ruffled his hair, glancing at Alessandro. He was watching them, his face grave and brooding and she wondered if it was hard for him to watch Julian being affectionate with another woman. Someone other than his mother.
Did it emphasise his loss even more? Twist the knife just a little bit deeper?
Peeling Julian off her legs, she announced, ‘I’m making toast – do you want some?’
The little boy’s curls bounced wildly as he nodded and clapped his hands. ‘I love toast!’
Nat busied herself with Julian, chatting away as they shoved slice after slice of bread into the toaster. When they were done she carried it over to the central station where Alessandro was apparently reading a journal. She helped Julian climb on to the stool opposite his father and then plonked the loaded plate in the middle. She topped up their coffees and sat down next to Julian.
‘Toast,’ she said pointedly to Alessandro’s downcast head. ‘Eat up. We made enough to feed an army.’
Julian giggled and she grinned at him but all the while she was hyper-aware of Alessandro and she almost sagged against the counter when his long, bronzed fingers reached for a slice. His gaze, heavy and intense, had been on her the entire time they’d been at the toaster and it had been unnerving.
Nat wished she knew what he was thinking behind the brooding mask. Was he remembering what had happened in this kitchen only yesterday or her unscheduled visit to his room last night? Was he in some spiral of guilt and grief over it all? Because as she and Julian chatted it was obvious he wasn’t taking any of it in, just chewing his toast like it was cardboard instead of warm with melty puddles of butter and rivulets of sweet, sticky honey.
‘Alessandro,’ she said, a little sharper than she meant to as Julian waited expectantly for his father’s input into the topic under discussion, the sparkle of excitement in his eyes fading.
He blinked then and Nat watched as his focus returned to the conversation. ‘I’m sorry,’ he apologised, looking from one to the other. ‘I was… a million miles away.’
‘I was just assuring Julian,’ she said, trying to keep the icicles out of her voice, ‘that you’re going to help us with the boxes today. Get his room decked out.’
Dark eyes roved over the top of Julian’s downcast head. ‘Oh…’ He eyed her. ‘I do have some work to catch up on.’
Nat blinked. Honestly, the man was hopeless! She glanced at Julian, whose bottom lip trembled ever so slightly, before glaring across at Alessandro. ‘Julian.’ Nat kept her voice bright and friendly. ‘Why don’t you see if Flo wants a piece of toast?’ She scooped up the last cold piece. ‘Take it out to the laundry and break it into small pieces.’
As if she’d offered him a lifeline, Julian grabbed the toast and climbed down quickly from the stool, practically running out of the kitchen. Nat watched Alessandro watch him go with those bleak eyes before placing her mug down, her control rapidly dwindling.
‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ she demanded in a low voice. ‘I just set up the perfect opportunity to spend time with Julian.’
The look he gave her was chilly. ‘He doesn’t want me to help. He couldn’t even look at me. I’m not going to force myself on him.’
Nat got off her stool and stormed over to the coffee pot, pouring herself another. She turned to face him, leaning against the bench, pleased to be far away from his naked chest.
‘Sometimes you have to push, Alessandro. He’sfour. You’re the adult. You’re going to have to meet in the middle and that starts with spending time with him.’
‘And what if it has the opposite effect?’ Alessandro’s eyes were dark and troubled as the words tumbled out. ‘What if he can’t handle what’s inside, what if it brings up stuff he was just getting over?’
‘Oh.’ Suddenly Nat understood that this might not be about Julian at all.
He pinned her with a glare. ‘What does “Oh” mean?’
‘It means that maybe what’s in those boxes might be hard for you to deal with, too.’
Raising an imperious eyebrow, he said, ‘Let’s steer clear of the amateur psychology.’
Except Nat had no intention of complying. ‘It’s understandable. They’re your memories. Of your wife and the life you had with her, the one you left behind.’
He opened his mouth, in what looked like for sure was a rejection, but Nat didn’t have time for his denials. She hadn’t been employed to look out for Alessandro, she was here for Julian.
