‘I know I leaned on you heavily after your dad died and I shouldn’t have, but then you graduated high school and moved to Melbourne for uni and I was so proud. And then you moved toNew Yorkand you’ve been tripping around the world ever since, taking your pictures, and I’ve been nothing but supportive because I love that you’re living your best life. It fills my heart with joy to see you so successful and happy. It’s exactly what your dad and I wanted for you.’
Fin watched as Sweeney blanched a little. Okay… Connie was clearly not above playing dirty with the dead father card.
‘And I’ve never once asked you to come home for a visit or spend a Christmas. I’ve been happy to join you wherever you might be in the world. I’ve never made you feel guilty about infrequent visits, or not being here for any of my birthdays, or that ceremony in Melbourne where the premier honoured Ronnie and I for our service to the public.Orfor missing Michael’s funeral.’
Fin blinked. Whoa.Now she was playingFin’sdead fathercard.
‘Have I ever nagged or pressured you about a boyfriend or a husband or having babies and making me a grandmother? Have I?’
‘Mum.’
Connie shook her head, her eyes glowing fiercely. ‘Have I, Sweeney?’
Sweeney swallowed. ‘No.’
Fin frowned. ‘I don’t see what this has got to do with—’
‘Oh, don’t you even,’ Ronnie interjected, nailing Fin with an equally fierce look. ‘Half of this town is made of Murphys, and they’re popping out babies like it’s theirjobto populate the earth. I’ve been to more Murphy weddings, baby showers and christenings than I’ve pulled beers behind the bar.’
It was true. The Murphys were particularly proficient at reproduction.
‘And even though every relative in Ballyshannon has harassed you about settling down and having a family, I have neveroncedone the same.Never.Like Connie, all I’ve ever wanted for you is to be happy and live the life you want and, even though I miss you, I love that you’re having this grand adventure in Ireland. Your dad would have loved it too.’
Ronnie’s voice cracked a little and it was Fin’s turn to swallow. He hoped she was right because those last angry words he’d exchanged with his father had weighed heavily on Fin’s shoulders.
Connie squeezed her friend’s hand and took over, glancing between him and Sweeney. ‘I think you both know we would never ask this of either of you ordinarily.Never. But we’ve obviously been caught in this lie and, really, would it bethatmuch to ask if you could just—’ Her gaze turned beseeching. ‘Back us up here?’
Fin turned incredulous eyes from Connie to Sweeney, who didn’t have to say anything. Herwhat the fuckwas written all over her face.
‘Yes,’ they said simultaneously.
‘Think of it as a birthday gift,’ Ronnie pressed.
‘Mum,’ Fin spluttered. ‘We flew across the planet to surprise you.That’s the gift.’
Ronnie and Connie exchanged a look that left Fin in no doubt that their presence was a very distant second to this proposed fake engagement. He supposed he should be grateful they hadn’t invented a pregnancy as well.
‘We’re not asking you toactuallyget married,’ Connie said, as though that made all the difference. ‘Just to… pretend for a bit.’
‘For us.’
‘The women who literally gave you life.’
Ronnie nodded vigorously. ‘I mean, I’ve never told you this, Fin, but I couldn’t sit down properly for over a month after you were born.’
‘It’s true,’ Connie concurred. ‘And she couldn’t sneeze without a little bit of wee coming out for much, much longer than that.’
‘That’s right.’ His mother snatched up the crumb her bestie had laid down. ‘It tookyearsfor my vagina to recover from the ruination of that big head of yours.’
Oh dear god.
If Fin could have hacked his ears off in this moment, he would have. He’d spent thirty-two years in blissful ignorance about the state of his mother’s vagina, and now he didn’t know how he was evernotgoing to think about it.
A quick glance at Sweeney told him she hadn’t been prepared for this level of detail either. ‘I’m… sorry?’ he offered, because what the hell else could he say to that?
Ronnie dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand. ‘This is the perfect way to make it up to me.’
Fin groaned. He sure as hell hadn’t hadbeing emotionally blackmailed by his mother’s ruined vaginaon his bingo card forthis year.
