It wasn’t until after dessert had been eaten the next night that Connie got around to asking about Sweeney’s work situation.
‘I see the volcano is still misbehaving,’ she said casually.
Ronnie jumped on board the conversation starter immediately. ‘I saw some expert on the news this afternoon saying there might be further eruptions over the next few days to a week, and someone from the Volcanic Ash Advisory Centre—who knew that was even a thing?—said the ash cloud will take a few days after that to fully dissipate enough to make aviation safe.’
Sweeney glanced at Fin. Both of their mothers seemed to be very up on the latest. Who knew they were such keen amateur vulcanologists? Had she not known it was impossible, Sweeney would have wondered if Connie and Ronnie hadn’t somehow had a hand in orchestrating the event. A spewing volcano seemed like something not entirely out of their reach after already magicking up the impossible—a fake engagement between their children.
Given that, she had to wonder what was next for the two of them. Dabbling in the dark arts?
‘Has your boss been back in contact?’ her mother asked.
Sweeney nodded. ‘The job is definitely off for now. She’s calling in the morning, after she’s found me some smaller assignments. It’s tricky because she still wants me on the Indonesia job as soon as it a) becomes safe again to fly and b) the resort is open for business, because they’ll probably need some clean-up time, given their proximity to the volcano. So she needs to leave enough wiggle room between assignments in case that crops up suddenly, and then there’s time zones, etc. It’s a juggle.’
‘That sounds like a bit of a head spin,’ Ronnie observed.
Shrugging, Sweeney said, ‘It’ll be fine.’
It was one of the coolest things about her job—always on the move, red-eye flights and a different place every few days. Despite the almost permanent fugue of jet lag and living out of a suitcase, Sweeney wouldn’t trade her life for anything.
‘Or maybe…’ Connie turned serious eyes on her daughter. ‘You could hang out here for a few weeks, instead? Help out with the team. Become their official photographer.’ She gave a little laugh, like it was the first time she’d thought of it and it was really tickling her fancy. ‘I mean, how long has it been since you’ve had a proper break? And I know how much you’ve been enjoying taking a different type of photograph—which have been truly amazing, right, Ronnie?’
Rhonda nodded her head vigorously. ‘I’m having that one of Fin and the kids framed. It’s perfect, Sweeney.’
‘You said yourself,’ her mother continued, ‘it’s been such a great learning curve, so why not spend some time exploring it between now and when the Indonesian job is good to go? You could even travel to the Gold Coast with the team and capture all the action. It’s only a few weeks away.’
Sweeney met her mother’s gaze. She wasn’t outright asking her to stay. Her mother never had and never would. But shewantedit. From the laying out of all the pros to the fine thread of longing in her mother’s tone. The kind of longing she remembered from her teenage years, when her mother’s grief had marinated in a deep well of yearning for the man she’d never see again. Sweeney recognised it on a visceral level. Twisting through her gut, thickening her throat, aching through her bones.
‘I… can’t, Mum,’ Sweeney said gently.
She may be annoyed at her mother for the situation they were in and for digging that hole ever deeper with Banshees photography and cake tasting, but Sweeney had to wear some of the blame. If she’d returned to Ballyshannon regularly, perhaps her mother might not have been pushed to such an extreme. Sweeney addedtry to come home more oftento her mental list next toannual catch-ups with Fin.
‘My reputation for reliability will take a hit if I start turning down assignments, and that is everything in this business.’
Not to mention how sticking around would feed into the whole Feeney narrative, which was getting more and more ridiculous.
‘Of course, darling.’ Her mother swiped her hand through the air, dismissing her suggestion as if it had been nothing, a bright smile pasted to her face. ‘Reputation is paramount and I know how highly valued and sought after you are.’ Connie reached her hand across the table and gave Sweeney’s hand a squeeze. ‘I’m so very,veryproud of you. Your father would be too if he was here. He always knew you were going to fly high.’
Her mother’s voice was as bright as her eyes as she patted Sweeney’s hand reassuringly before withdrawing, but Sweeney didn’t feel reassured as her gaze landed on the photograph of her father that her mother always kept on the sideboard in the dining room. In fact, despite agreeing to go along with her mother’s harebrained scheme, which should have earned her major brownie points and put her on the shortlist for the best daughter ever award, she felt like she’d failed some test and whoever the adjudicator was had found her wanting.
Revisiting her mental list, she scrubbed out thetry to, leaving it atcome home more ofteninstead.
*
Sweeney didn’t sleep well that night, haunted by echoes of her childhood and the nagging feeling that she’d botched some huge life lesson. Having always passed her tests with flying colours, it didn’t sit right with her, and she woke in an irritable mood.
Then Veronica called and things went from bad to worse as she shared the latest info about the volcano that had erupted further overnight. Not even her thick, Texas, bless-your-heart accent could put lipstick on that pig.
‘I can schedule a half-dozen smaller two-day jobs that are much more flexible time-wise and give us some wiggle room in between until the timeline with the Indonesian job becomes clearer. But it’s a lot of criss-crossing the globe and quick turnarounds, jet lag on jet lag, editing on your laptop in airports and on planes.’
Maybe it was the sleepless night, or her general irritability this morning, but the thought of jumping from one quick job to the other didn’t fill her with the usual tingle of excitement, which only made Sweeneymoreirritable.
What had happened to the old wouldn’t-trade-her-job-for-anything Sweeney? When had back-to-back jobs, jet lag and editing on the run ever left her feeling hollow or doubting her life’s direction?
After the goldfish bowl of growing up in a small town, she’d thrived on that shit.
Maybe you could hang out here for a few weeks, instead.
Her mother’s words came back and hit extra hard after tossing and turning all night. Theoretically, shecouldhang for a few weeks. It would mean she wouldn’t be paid in that time—Sweeney’s jobs were on a commission basis—but she’d worked hard to restore finances that had taken a hit during Covid and had built up a healthy buffer again.
