It was pure insanity, but I loved her. Without a single doubt.
But her sigh turned to a whimper, and suddenly she was crying again.
“Beautiful girl, I’m sorry. Was it too much?”
“No. God, no.” She sobbed against my chest. “It was too perfect.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. “Jamie, give me your mouth.”
She raised her head, connecting her mouth to mine without hesitation. I kissed her with everything I had—lips, tongue, heart, soul.
“It was fucking perfect,” I admitted when we parted.
Her sigh was content but tired. The tears had stopped, but tension remained.
“You need sleep.” I bit back the urge to make more ill-timed confessions.
“Right. Sleep. You’re tired too.” She inhaled sharply, body going rigid, fingers digging into my side. “Oh…tomorrow is Caleb’s transplant. You need to spend today with him. I’m so sorry—I almost forgot.”
“It’s fine. A few more hours sleep, and I’ll be good. I’ll head to the hospital this afternoon.”
“I want to be there tomorrow. Day Zero. I want to hold your hand while you wait, like you held mine.”
“Beautiful girl, nothing would make me happier. But that won’t be possible.”
Her face fell. “What? Why?”
“They don’t allow anyone in the operating room, and I’ll be too drugged to hold anyone’s hand.”
Confusion clouded her features. “I don’t understand. Why will you be drugged?”
“Because I hear it hurts like a son of a bitch to donate bone marrow. I plan to be well medicated.”
“What?” Disbelief replaced confusion. “You’re Caleb’s donor?”
“Yeah, beautiful girl, I am.”
“Oh my God, Eric. This is huge. Why didn’t you tell me?” The pain on her face hit me like a physical blow.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything. It’s not a big deal to me.”
“Are you insane? How is this not a big deal?”
“Because it was just dumb luck that I was a match. A fantastic stroke of luck, but still just luck. There was no question about me being the donor. Just like there would have been no question if it were Marc or Celeste who matched.”
I swallowed hard around the tightness in my throat. “Caleb needs this to live. I’m just lying on a table while doctors take some bone marrow. It’s the right thing to do. The only thing to do.”
I was aiming for sincerity, but the look in her eyes told me I’d fucked this up completely.
Hunter and Caleb were both right. I should’ve told her from the beginning. Should’ve trusted her with the truth instead of hiding behind my reluctance to make it seem bigger than it was.
Now I could see the hurt behind her glare, the suspicion I’d created with one omission.
Was it too late to tell her I loved her?
Would it matter now if I did?
Chapter Thirty-Three
