“Wait.” She studied my face. “She knew who you were, didn’t she?”
“Maybe.”
She turned away from me with a huff and got out of the truck, slamming the door. “Still didn’t give her the right. Lecherous whore. What kind of woman does that? Hits on a man who’s clearly taken?”
Taken. Christ, she had no idea how right she was.
Panic flickered across her face after the words left her mouth. “Not that you’re taken. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I don’t know…” Heat rushed through me at the thought of her wanting to claim me. “I seem to recall something about a secret club. If I remember correctly, I was given full rights and privileges as part of my membership.”
I caught her around the waist, pulling her to my side. “I’m all yours as long as you want me, beautiful.”
She smiled and ducked her head, color rising in her cheeks. I pulled her closer as we walked into the café, and she settled against me like we’d done this a million times.
After the last twenty-four hours, telling Jamie I didn’t want anyone else felt natural. How could I possibly want another woman when she was around?
The only thing I wanted was more of her—her mind, her body, and perhaps a piece of her soul to keep when it came time for her to leave.
She hadn’t lied about the coffee. It was better than average, and after days of hospital sludge, it hit the spot. With bagels and coffee filling us up, I relaxed again.
Not that I’d forgotten the obligations waiting at the hospital. I could never forget about Caleb, but my worry over him felt less consuming. A sense of optimism hung in the air.
Somewhere deep inside, I believed he’d be okay.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” I reached across the table, needing the contact of her fingers against mine.
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t we be heading back to the hospital?”
“Well, I was thinking…” I rubbed my thumb across her knuckles, anchoring myself to this moment instead of the sterile hell waiting for us. “My brother and sister should be here by now. Caleb’s going to have company all day, and he’s still got four more days until his transplant. Once we hit Day Zero, I won’t be able to leave. He’ll be in isolation, but I’m going to be caged in that hospital for days, possibly weeks.”
“Day Zero?”
“Transplant day. We’re on a countdown. Like we’re dropping a fucking bomb or something.” The bitter laugh that escaped me held no humor. Four days. Four days of pretending I wasn’t fucking terrified.
“Well, that’s ominous, isn’t it?” Jamie winced at her own words. “Sorry, I’m just ignorant to the whole thing. You say transplant, and I picture blood-dripping organs, ice packed into coolers.”
“It’s a bone marrow transplant. He’ll get an infusion into his center line—that big ugly catheter tube sticking out of his chest. And then we sit and wait, hoping the stem cells start making new white blood cells for him.”
“And he has to be in isolation?” Her hand tightened around mine.
“For a while. Infection is a big risk. It’s all a waiting game. He’ll probably need blood transfusions and antibiotics as well. But it takes weeks before the new cells start to form.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Wow. He’s such a brave kid.”
Braver than me. I was the one running away, stealing time with her when I should be holding vigil at his bedside.
But what good was I doing there? Sitting in that chair, watching him sleep, counting down to Day Zero like some kind of death march?
“He is.” I forced myself to meet her eyes. “But my point—until Day Zero, I’m kind of useless. Maybe you and I could spend more time together. We could stay out in the world a little longer. The hospital will still be there tomorrow.”
The words felt like both confession and justification. I needed her to understand that this wasn’t abandonment. It was survival.
“I like the sound of this idea, but I’d really like it if you’d call Caleb first, just to be sure.”
So, I did. When Caleb heard I’d be spending time with Jamie, he responded, “You better be talking about me the whole time.” He also made me promise to bring her by first thing the next morning.
The relief that flooded through me was immediate. My little brother was giving me permission to be human.
