My stomach pulled tight.
It was too early. My kid negotiated bedtime like it was a hostage situation. He didn’t volunteer for it.
“Okay, bud. But you know, if there’s anything you need to talk about, I’m here for you. No matter what. Okay?”
“I know, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too, Hunter. Have a good sleep. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow.”
But before I could hang up, he called out, “Mom?”
A lump formed in my throat. “Yeah, sweetie. What’s the matter?”
“When are you coming home?”
My heart was already cracked from being away from him, but his question finished the job.
All the earlier guilt, the quiet shame about the hospital, about Eric, about distraction, splintered into something jagged. Raw, twisting anguish.
With a tear trailing down my face, I answered, “I don’t know yet, but I really miss you. Maybe you should come here for the weekend.”
“No, I don’t want to. I just miss you. A lot.” The smallness in his voice hollowed me out.
“I miss you too. So much.”
For a second after the call ended, I just stared at the screen, like I could somehow pull him back through it.
Eric’s hand closed around my knee. “You okay, beautiful?”
“Yeah.” My voice cracked anyway. “He misses me.”
“Of course, he does.”
“This is different. I shouldn’t have left him there. I’m a horrible mother.”
“I have a hard time believing you’re anything but a damn good mother.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know that.”
“I know you. And I know you wouldn’t have left him unless you had a reason.”
A reason.
What was the reason? I couldn’t find it. My thoughts spiraled, fast and vicious.
Hunter was my world. My whole entire world. And I’d walked away from him. Left him with people I barely knew. For a week. A fucking week.
My chest tightened.
Oh God.
How long did I have to stay here? What if he needed me right now? What if something happened and I wasn’t there?
The tingling started in my fingers. Then my toes. My heart raced, tripping over itself, as my breath came too fast, too shallow.
“Jamie.” Eric’s voice cut through the spiral. “Goddammit, beautiful. Don’t make me pull this truck over. Just breathe.”
Shit.
