Were any of them true? Sure. But they were also convenient shields against having to make any hard choices right now.
Eric didn’t question my deflection. He simply accepted what I offered and wrapped me in his arms, pulling me back down to the mattress like he could hold me together through sheer force of will.
As we lay in that ridiculously small bed, my mind refused to quiet. I didn’t want to lie to him, but sleep remained elusive. Eyes closed, breathing controlled, Eric’s solid warmth engulfing me, I contemplated the last eight days. Our confessions and omissions. The promises made and broken.
But the past wasn’t what haunted me. It was the future—all those unknown variables stretching ahead like an endless maze.
How could something unknown already hurt so fucking bad?
DAY ZERO
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jamie
Today was the day.
Day Zero.
The day Eric had been dreading. The one he’d tried to push from his mind with desperate intensity. So terrifying he’d hidden it from me like a shameful secret.
The day that could make or break it all.
The last time I stood in these sterile halls, grief had taken its time to overwhelm me, shock holding it at bay like a dam about to burst. This time, hope hung thick in the air around me.
Still, I wasn’t comforted. Hope could be the cruelest thing of all, lifting you to dizzying heights before dropping you into free fall.
In the hallway, Eric stood close. Close enough that I could feel the heat of him at my side. But he was quiet, his attention fixed on his family in the waiting room only a few feet away. They filled the space with low voices and forced optimism, clinging to each other.
He didn’t join them.
He stayed planted in front of me.
When he finally moved, it was deliberate. A step in. A hand at my waist, firm and steady, anchoring me where I stood. His lips brushed my forehead. The kiss was restrained, almost reverent. It felt less like affection and more like absolution.
“Thank you,” he murmured.
A few moments later, a nurse appeared in the doorway and called his name.
He didn’t look at me again. He just turned and walked away.
That was all I got.
I had no idea what he was thanking me for. For coming? For not running when he told me his secret? For pretending everything was fine when we both knew it wasn’t?
The doors swung closed behind him, and he was gone.
The rejection lodged somewhere deep. What was the point of those few seconds of privacy if he wouldn’t even look at me?
They took Caleb back not long after. We crowded into his room before they wheeled him out. One by one, we said our goodbyes. When it was my turn, I wrapped my arms around him and held tight.
“You’re going to kick cancer’s ass,” I whispered.
He grinned like this was a challenge he’d already accepted.
Then he was gone too, swallowed by the same doors.
The waiting room filled with the quiet chaos of people trying to sit still. Coffee cups. Half sentences. Forced optimism.
