Shoving that voice deep into a box inside my mind, I blinked through my tears and turned up the coldness of my glare on Dad.
With a groan, he rubbed at the back of his neck, a sure sign of his frustration.“Ali, I’m sorry.I wasn’t thinking.Come on.It was an honest mistake.”When I remained silent, he huffed.“It was only chips.I’ll buy you more.”
It’s not about the chips!
I shoved that voice down harder, pushing it behind a door and locking it.
“I have homework to do,” I gritted out, fighting a sob.It was official—I was losing my mind.
“Ali-Cat,” he called after me.Without looking back, I went up to my room and slammed the door.
And because I was so close to breaking, to going back downstairs and spilling my guts to my daddy, who I knew would move heaven and earth to make everything better, I locked the door.If he came upstairs to apologize again, or with a bag of chips, there was a high chance that I would do just that.
Grabbing my headphones, I turned on my study playlist and got to work.I had so many assignments I was behind on.And then there were the tests I’d tanked.Thankfully, my teachers were giving me a second chance to take them, without involving my parents for the moment.I’d also volunteered to do extra credit.If I doubled down, there was a chance I’d finish the semester strong.
Hours later, my phone buzzed with a text.I tensed, my eyes automatically clenching closed.Sucking in a deep breath, I reminded myself I had DND on, and only a handful of people could get through.
Peeking at the screen, I saw Sixx’s name, and a few tears spilled out of my eyes before I could blink them back.
Sixx: Just finished a workout.Hope you’re feeling better today.Miss you, my daisy girl.
My fingers hovered over the keys.
I’m not okay.
I’ve been hiding something from you.
I’m so scared.
Please don’t do anything stupid, but someone is harassing me.
Please come hold me.
Instead, I kept the reply simple.
Me: I miss you too!
Ali
It tookhours even to put a dent in the makeup work I needed to finish.I texted Sixx back whenever he messaged me, ate all the snacks he’d brought me the night before, and avoided both my parents.
Dad tried to text a few times, apologizing for eating the chips, asking if I wanted anything extra when he ordered pizza, telling me to come eat.I ignored his efforts, telling myself I had every right to stay mad.Rational or not—admittedly it was more on the not side—I was pissed.He should have known.Not the what—I didn’t expect them to be mind readers, for fuck’s sake—but he should have sensed that there was something wrong.It didn’t matter that I was trying my best to hide it.Parents were supposed to know.
Even though I was terrified of them knowing.Of anyone finding out.
So I stayed mad, ignoring the guilt that was starting to rival the dread that felt like an anvil sitting on my belly.Anger was easier to process than the plethora of other emotions swirling around inside me, making it impossible to be coherent.
Mom tried to get my attention as well, but I was mad at her too.Only, I didn’t have a plausible reason for it.Dad had provided one with the chips, so I could get away with it.He accepted that because he had decades of dealing with women and their cycles.Abi and I had used our periods as excuses for things from day one, at least where Dad was concerned.Mom didn’t let us get away with that kind of stuff—she knew better—but she didn’t step in and save Dad when we used it on him.He was a grown man, and he could figure it out on his own.Or not.Usually, it was not.
Mostly, I’d avoided my mom as much as possible, and because she was busy with work and getting everything in order before the upcoming tour, I was able to slide under her radar.Something I was thankful for.But I was also angry about it.Logic didn’t play into it.I freaking knew I was being stupid.Admitting what was going on wasn’t an option.Being confronted and forced to spill my guts on every microdetail of the stress, the pressure, the fear… Well, that was different.
If they would just pay attention, they would know I wasn’t okay.
And I was so very terrified that they would, and then Sixx would find out and do something that would take him away from me.In the end, it was my fear of losing Sixx that kept me quiet, hoping it would all go away, resolve itself.
The sun was coming up when I finally fell asleep.My brain was cloudy from all the information I’d force-fed it, primarily science.Cursed Biology.I passed out on my bed surrounded by open textbooks, discarded candy wrappers, and empty bottles of sports drinks.At some point, the doorbell woke me up.Disoriented, I snapped my head up, trying to make sense of where I was and why there was a crick in my neck.
“Kin!”Something in Dad’s voice sent a chill through me.Stomach in knots, I jumped out of bed and rushed out of my room.
