My heart is as broken in two, Evelina, and I cannot blame anyone but myself. In my attempts to shield you from the true horrors of your world, I forgot to show you the delights it could hold as well.
If you do decide to forgive me, I will be on The Magdalene tomorrow evening to set sail for Europe with the tickets Wellington gave us for our honeymoon. If you do not join me, I will go alone and accept that our marriage is done. Yours in hope, Dorian.”
Harriet blinked. “What do you plan on doing?”
Dropping the letter, Ellie shook her head, “I do not know yet.”
“Ellie, I think you should see what he has to say,” Harriet said. “You are suffering, and Victoria and I see it as clear as day. I suspect you know it too. I know you love him, maybe you can give him a second chance, or at the very least seek closure?”
Staring at the folio, and the deed, a piece of paper that effectively made her one of the richest women in London, she felt her heart burn with hurt. “I—I… don’t know. Do I want to risk my heart again or let him go?”
EPILOGUE
The dark clouds on the horizon did not bode well for a ship’s launch, but Dorian could not bring himself to care. His decision was made. It was today. And he was leaving one way or another.
The time was ticking down, and the launch was soon. In his weakest moments, his heart ached despairingly knowing that he might have lost the best thing that had ever come into his life. Yes, he so desperately wanted Evelina to join him, but he purposefully made sure that fate was no longer in his hands.
“I know that look,” a man chuckled lowly from behind him. The voice, gravelly, grated on Dorian’s ears, and he was of half a mind to plant the man a facer for laughing at his expense. “T’is the look of a man who had made the worst mistake of his life.”
When the man came forward, Dorian saw that he was older, probably in his late seventies, his hair grey under his cap. “Tell me, son, what did you do to the young woman you love?”
Ordinarily, Dorian would have scoffed, then told the man he was wide off the mark. But at that moment, he did not even have the strength to contest him. If he looked as heartbroken as he felt, the man would not be so foolish as to believe those empty words.
“Are you sure it is notloved?” Dorian said instead, distractedly.
“Pah!God no, that look on your face tells me the emotion is still fresh,” his chuckling fell sour before eventually fading. “Alas, boy, if you don’t want to tell me, allow this old man to regale you with a tale of his own.
“It was… ah, forty-seven years ago, when a young man fell in love with a woman far above his station. To the lad, it felt as if the heavens had opened up and the sun shone upon him and upon him alone every time the young woman smiled at him.
“She was gentry, you see, daughter of a baronet, while he was nothing but the middle child of a penurious farmer,” he rambled on. “They snuck away at any moment they could, and eventually, the girl’s father got a hold of the dalliance. He threatened the young lad with gaol if he did not take the bribe of five hundred pounds to leave his daughter’s life forever.”
Five hundred pounds—a pittance.
“Let me guess,” Dorian put in. “He took it.”
“He took it all right. And with that five-hundred, he set sail on a ship for the Americas, hoping to forget her and start a new life on his own,” the old man said. “But, alas, forget her he never did.
“The five-hundred burgeoned to a generous sum of sixty thousand. It took decades to accrue it did, and he was finally ready to return home, to grand ole’ fair Albion.
And so he set sail back. Forty odd years later from whence he had departed. He found the young woman again, only she was not so young anymore, you see. She was married, with children aplenty. She told the boy she would have stayed with him if he had asked for her hand, but that was back then. Now, she could not desert her role as beloved wife and mother.”
“He lost his love,” Dorian finished slowly.
“Forever,” the man added with a wistful sigh.
Craning his head, Dorian noticed the old man’s eyes had grown misty. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked.
The man’s face went solemn. “Because you have the same expression I had when I first boarded this exact ship forty-seven years ago. I took the money and forfeited my only chance of having the love of my life.
Dorian furrowed his brows. “When was the last time you saw her?”
“Just now, in fact,” the man chuckled again, though there was no humor in his tone this time. “It was the first time in decades. She has adorable little grandchildren now.”
Dorian swallowed bile; children that could have been the man’s, no doubt. It was a sickening realization—and a clear as day warning.
“I’ve been a coward,” Dorian finally admitted. “All this time, I thought I was doing my best to protect her by hiding the truth, when all I did was push her away. Now, she has learned the truth, but not from me. It has wounded her as I knew it would, but I can no longer be there for her to shelter her through it. If I could go back in time and do otherwise, if I could have simply told her the truth of everything, I wouldn’t be here now. I’d be home with her.”
“You can still be,” the old man grunted. “There’s still time to get off the ship, boy.”
