I had a brother. I had a brother, and he was six. “What’s his name?” I numbly pressed.
“Bowman,” my mother provided, her face lighting up at the mere mention of the boy.
I’m not going to lie. That smile hurt. It hurt more than a dagger being repeatedly plunged into my chest and twisted from side to side.
Had my mother ever smiled like that about me? Did she ever even mention my name, or was I forgotten the moment she turned her back on our family and walked away for a second chance at different life? One in which she was raising my brother, Bowman, with a husband that wasn’t my father. My father, the good man her pack had killed.
“He’s a wonderful boy. You’re going to love him. He can’t wait to meet you,” she gushed excitedly, though I couldn’t help but feel that excitement was on Bowman’s behalf and not mine.
“Sure,” I choked out, my body hot and tingly like I’d just been bitten by a venomous snake.
My mother’s smile froze on her face, then fell off entirely. “I wanted to tell you about him the other day, but our conversation got cut short and I wasn’t able to.”
“It got cut short because you called my mate a mutt,” I coldly reminded her. “Or did you forget that point as quickly as you forgot our family when you abandoned us? Did you tell Bowman that? Did you tell him he has a sister you ghosted as a young girl? That you faked your death so that you didn’t ever have to see her again? To be bothered by the mere sight of your bad decisions?”
My mother’s face crumbled and her eyes filled with tears. “That’s not how I feel about you, Millie, but I deserve that. I know I do.”
“Yeah, you do,” I hatefully replied before the waitress spun back around with our drinks.
“Can I get you guys something to eat?” she inquired, flipping through her notepad to find a clean page where she could scribble out our order.
“The drinks are fine for now,” my mother tactfully responded.
The young girl finally caught on to the heavy mood at the table then. “Ah, sure. Just flag me down if you need another round of drinks or want the check. Otherwise, I’ll leave the two of you alone.”
I took a sip of my house red, and the waitress was halfway across the room before I set the wine glass back down on the table, half gone.
“Let me start at the beginning,” Jenny offered, cradling her drink in her hands. “When I’m done, you can decide for yourself what to do with the information. I’ll respect whatever that is. I know I haven’t been in your life for years, Millie, but you grew inside of me. I nurtured you through infancy and beyond. I know who my daughter is, though I might not deserve her, and she’s turned into a beautiful, bright, caring young woman that I’m very proud of.”
I didn’t refute anything she said, though I didn’t feel she had any right to taking pride in me. “I’m listening.”
“I’ll begin at a beginning of sorts,” she offered. “Why I left Montana. Why I left you, baby.”
My fingers reflexively bit into my thighs as I listened to a story I’d wanted to hear my whole life but had convinced myself I’d never be told because of my mother’s untimely death.
“I made a mistake leaving the Tupilaqs for your father,” my mother brutally confessed like she was speaking to her priest and not her daughter. “While Calvin was an amazing man, he wasn’t my true mate. But I’d been blinded by how handsome and charming he was. All his big plans for our life together. I was young, bored, and naive about the realities of the world beyond my isolated community. Because your father had been an orphan raised at Cascia House, he had no ties in Alaska to keep him anchored here. He wanted to venture out into the world and stake a claim somewhere new. I wanted to be anywhere but where I was, so I convinced myself we were soul mates. That was my mistake, not his. And certainly not yours, baby.”
Her honesty, although appreciated, hurt like hell. “When did you realize you weren’t in love?”
“When it was already too late,” she admitted. “I was pregnant, and not with a man from my pack. I knew I was going to be in terrible trouble with our alpha, Malcolm’s father. I’d been promised to his son, not Malcolm, but his brother, Kade. When Kade died unexpectedly, Malcolm became the heir and I became his omega.”
This story sounded more like a soap opera than real life. “I can see why you left the pack. They sound awful.”
She smiled appreciatively, but her mirth didn’t last. “I wish it were that simple. I’d thrown caution to the wind by mating with Calvin. I’d hitched my wagon to the unforgivable: a mutt.” When I winced at the derogatory word, Jenny paused but didn’t apologize for the truth. “Although I wasn’t in love with Calvin, Iwasin love with you, Millie, the tiny baby girl growing in my womb. To protect you, your father and I decided to leave Alaska and start a new life in Montana. It worked… for a while. Until it didn’t. I was happy enough and willing to accept my fate, until my pack found us. When they did, I knew what I had to do: protect you at all costs. Unfortunately, protecting you also meant leaving you and faking my own death. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
I couldn’t understand why she had to lie. “Why couldn’t you just leave us and return to Alaska? Why did you have to pretend you died?”
“Because I couldn’t have you come looking for me one day, Millie. You had to think I was dead so that the Tupilaqs didn’t know you were living. If they knew you existed, they’d force you back into the pack and you would have been paired off with Osyrius to be his mate. I didn’t want that for you. I wanted you to live whatever life you chose, free and unfettered by pack decrees that had been written before any of us were even born.”
“But your plan didn’t work. They found out about me anyway, Mom. Osyrius wants to fight my mate to the death because he has some ridiculous notion we’re fated to be together. Nothing you did made any difference. The only thing that came of it was me feeling betrayed and unlovable.”
My mother shot forward and grasped my hand. “That’s not true, baby. I might not have wanted to be with your father, but I always wanted to be with you. You’re right, my plan didn’t work. Malcolm lied. He knew about you all along. He was only biding his time before he planned on gifting you to his son.”
I was more confused now than ever before. “So why would you want me to live with these men? To bind myself to a mate whose father killed my own?”
Jenny’s hand slipped from mine as she put some distance between us by leaning back in her chair. “What happened to Calvin was terrible, Millie. I need you to know, I had no part in that.”
“But you knew about it,” I bitterly accused. “You knew about it, and you still stayed with that disgusting pack of yours. How could you?”
