“What if she goes into labor? What if she dies?” I ask, sobbing again as tears fall down my cheeks. I don’t attempt to wipe them away. “I can’t… I can’t lose her, Tobias. I can’t. She’s my best friend, and I?—”
I squeeze my eyes closed, but it doesn’t stop the tears from flowing. To my surprise, Tobias locks his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head, slowly swaying back and forth to console me. The tenderness is so unlike him—much like the version of him that bathed me after fucking me ruthlessly into the mattress—and I hate how much I enjoy it.
Everything slams into me, all the fear, worry, and stress I’ve been bottling up this week, and my emotions surge. Before I know it I’m trembling against Tobias, and I can’t stop. And he doesn’t say a fucking word. He just stands there and lets me break down without letting me go.
It might be the best and worst thing he could do.
I have no idea how long I stand there crying like an idiot, but the tears finally subside.
“You can be angry at me if you want,” he says slowly, his soothing voice a balm to the worst of mynerves. “But you need a break. Even just for a couple of hours. I know you know this, but I can sense your energy, and it’s been… quite frankly, bleak this week.”
I pull back suddenly to stare up at him.
“Oh, and all of a sudden you care?” I try to snap, but it comes out on a broken sob. “You’re a fucking dickhead all week, pretending I don’t exist, and now you’ve been paying attention to my energy?” I want to laugh. This is absurd.
Instead, another wave of tears falls.
For a long moment, he’s silent, waiting for me to calm down.
“I was trying to stick to our agreement,” he finally says, his eyes burning into mine. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
My lips part, and it feels like the rug has been ripped out from beneath my feet. In fact, if Tobias wasn’t clutching me against him, I might drop like a stone.
He was an asshole all week because… he thought that’s what I wanted?
I blink, not sure how to process that information.
“Listen, I didn’t bring you here to insert myself or try to have a repeat of the other night,” he says quickly. “But you can’t take care of your friend if you don’t take care of yourself, okay? If you want to be there for her, you’ve got to step away from time to time. Breathe, take some time for yourself, recenter. Then you can go right back.”
My brows knit together at his words. “Who are you and what have you done with our asshole drummer?”
He chuckles once and shakes his head.
“I’m still here, trust me, sweetheart.” My chestwarms at the nickname. “I’m just… trying to help. And this is the only way I know how to currently.”
To my dismay, he lets me go and takes a step backward, giving me space. I immediately hate the distance, but I try to shove the thoughts aside. My eyes drift around the room, my thoughts fogging. I don’t even know what to do.
I’ve been so wrapped up in Niki that I haven’t been able to think about anything else. Even now, just being away from the tour bus has anxiety clawing through me, but I know Tobias is right. As much as I hate to admit it.
I have to take care of myself if I want to be there for her. I’m going to make myself sick if I don’t.
“We won’t stay long, right?” I ask. My voice is softer now, but at least I’ve managed to stop crying.
“Promise,” he assures me as he sinks down onto the foot of the bed. The mattress sags beneath his weight, and he folds his hands in his lap. “And if Sebastian texts with an emergency, we’ll head right back.”
I’m still reluctant to stay at the hotel for any amount of time, but I’m determined to try. Besides, Niki would cuss my ass out if she knew how useless I’ve been worried sick over her. She’d want me to take a break.
“Are you just going to hang out with me until I’m ready to go back?” I cock an eyebrow at Tobias.
His eyes widen behind the mask, like he’s surprised, before he jumps to his feet again. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, that’s fine,” I say, waving a hand. “I’ll probably be less stressed with you here anyway.”
Imagine that.
We stand there for a moment, watching one another. In theory, all of this is a great idea. In practice? Being trapped in a hotel room with Tobias after the last time we shared this bed is a little awkward.
“Why don’t you take your mask off?” I cock my head to the side. “Unless you’re more comfortable with it on.”
