Besides, we need to save our power reserves for when it really matters: when and if she tries to birth the baby.
When I turn to leave again, Sebastian is blocking the door, watching me intently. I can feel his judgement weighing on me, which only stokes the anger in my chest.
“You can lie to yourself, Kaseilon, but you don’t have to lie to me,” he says softly.
“I’m not lying to anyone,” I grit through my teeth before shoving past him, shoulder checking him for good measure.
My eyes flash to Joseline once before I’m out the door, stomping back to my own tour bus. Annoyingly, I hear a door open and close behind me, and I know Sebastian is on my heels.
“Fuck off, Acherith,” I say without looking back. The last thing I need is his goddamn condescension right now, especially when I’m doing everything I can to keep his mate alive.
“Kaiselon.” The bark in his voice has me stopping in my tracks and clenching my jaw so hard my teeth ache. I whip around, angry heat licking through my veins, and let him catch up. “I wasn’t trying to piss you off, I swear.”
“Then why can’t you just leave me alone?” I glare at him through the holes in my mask. “Go away and let me do the job you’ve asked of me. I don’t need your opinion about anything else.”
A lesser demon would have let me walk away, but not Sebastian. He moves closer, staring me down in a brutal challenge of stubbornness. I almost wish he’d hit me so I could take out some of my frustration on him, but a tiny voice in the back of my mind reminds me thatwe’re in this together. Fighting won’t solve or change anything.
“Because I care about you, Kaseilon,” he says, not breaking eye contact. “And I see the way you look at her. Why are you making yourself miserable by staying away?”
Yeah, getting punched in the mouth would have been better than being asked that question.
“Why are you making it your business?”
He hesitates, shifting in the dark before replying. “You’ve done so much for me, for us,” he explains slowly, moving back a little to give me space. “I just want you to indulge yourself. Allow yourself the happiness that we were denied in Hell.”
“A human will not make me happy,” I spit out carefully. “I’ve seen what can happen when we get too close to them, and I’m not interested. Besides, don’t you think she has enough on her fucking plate without getting more caught up with demons?”
He doesn’t answer, so I keep going, the words spilling out before I can stop them.
“I will cause her nothing but grief and pain, Acherith.” I gesture toward the tour bus where Joseline is sleeping. “What kind of life can I possibly give her? We all know our days are numbered with this band. One day soon, we’ll have to step away, and then what? Will we have to stay hidden forever? She’ll never want that. I’ll never want that for her.”
The revelation of my own words shocks me, but I try to keep my emotions level. I don’t want Sebastian to know he’s gotten under my skin more than healready has. The fucker knows me better than anyone else, so of course he knows exactly what to say to get to me.
“You know, we’ve had a very similar conversation before,” he muses, looking off into the distance as a police siren wails somewhere in the city. “I asked you what you would do in my shoes, and what was your answer?”
I glare at the side of his stupid face, wanting to kiss it with my knuckles. “Well, I’m not asking for your opinion.”
“I know. You’re too stubborn for that.” His red eyes snap back in my direction. “Which is why I’m giving it to you anyway. It’s okay to admit you’re afraid of happiness, Kaseilon. But are you staying away because you don’t think you deserve it? Or because you’re afraid she won’t want you?”
“Fuck you.” My hands clench into fists as I turn my back on him. “I’m being realistic.”
He scoffs. “You’re being a dick and you know it.”
I keep walking toward my bus, hoping he doesn’t follow, but I can hear him call out over my shoulder, “It’s not the latter.”
I’m seething as I rip open the bus door, trying not to slam it and wake up Emrys, but it’s all I want to do. When I lay down, I’m still reeling, adrenaline pounding through me as I contemplate Sebastian’s words.
He’s wrong.
Joseline agreed to a one-night stand for a reason; she isn’t interested in anything more. And that’s fair. Her best friend’s life is on the line because of a demon.
Why would she want to risk ending up in the same position?
She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t want me.
She can barely tolerate me.
Rolling my eyes, I pull out my phone to wind down, and the first image that pops up is the one of us together. It’s gotten more comments since this afternoon, and as I stare at us together, I can see what all the hype is about. She really does look incredible grinding up against me.
