Possibly more importantly – knowing how desperate John was for them to love him – the newspapers are having afield day. Headlines have been screaming for months about how he staged his own fake death and fooled his family along with a nation. Then someone leaked the news about his arrest in connection with a possible murder and it became international news. Headlines everywhere have gone mad. Pauline has mostly found it amusing, though she draws the line at the one that read, ‘Lottery winner faked death after murdering wife’s elderly lover.’ Audrey told her if that oneoffended her, shereallyshouldn’t look at theNational Enquirer, who claimed Pauline and Harold Woodbead had a secret S&M room at the care home.
The angry ship captain is still scolding Audrey.
‘We may issue you a fine, Mrs Woodbead—’
‘Please call me Ms Swift,’ Audrey interrupts, her hand up. ‘I’ve gone back to my maiden name. Swift. No relation to Taylor.’
‘All right, Ms Swift, but please take this seriously. This kind of disorderly conduct can’t happen again on board, or we’ll be forced to remove you at the next port. We’ve just passed Miami, but we could drop you off in Cuba.’
The Lottery Winner Widows Club’s plan had been to stay with the ship past Mexico and Belize, until they docked in Roatan, Honduras in four days’ time, where they were planning to make an on-the-spot decision about their next move – stay in Central America or find a new adventure. But Cuba doesn’t sound so bad. It’s not the worst threat Pauline’s ever heard.
Audrey sighs, looking resigned. ‘Fine, I’ll be good.’ She tuts. ‘It really is your own fault, you know. You’re the ones serving unlimited champagne with breakfast. What did youthinkwould happen?’
The captain shakes his head, looking around at the group before stalking away.
‘Behave yourselves!’ he shouts from over a shoulder.
Audrey and Pauline eyeball each other, feeling rebellious. ‘I might give him my number,’ Audrey announces gleefully after a moment. ‘I’m pretty sure I got what the kids callavibe. I think he probably quite likes a bad girl.’
‘Does that mean you’ve finally dumped French Antoine?’ Pauline asks and Audrey sighs.
‘Not yet, but he knows I’m only interested in something casual whenever I’m visiting the French Riviera.’ She looks perky. ‘And he’s given up smoking! Isn’t that wonderful? He looks ten years younger.’
‘Good for him.’ Teddy smiles and she flicks her glorious hair. Something glints at her roots and Pauline looks closer.
‘What’s that?’ she asks Teddy, curiously. ‘That clip thing, in your hair?’
Teddy raises an eyebrow. ‘It’s just where my extensions are attached, babe.’ She smiles wryly as Pauline gasps in shock. ‘Oh babe, you thought my hair was real? It’s all fake! I’ve got the thinnest hair in the universe. There are, like, three strands that are real over here. The rest are glued in. Aren’t they great?’
Pauline stares goggle-eyed at the locks she has envied so much for almost a year now. ‘Your hair isn’t real,’ she whispers to herself.
‘I’ll take you to my hairdresser when we get back,’ Teddy offers nicely and Pauline nods eagerly. She wonders if they can make her look like Sigourney Weaver. What a thrill! Something else occurs to her. ‘Teddy,’ she begins slowly, ‘where are youactuallyfrom? I’ve wondered about your accent since that very first day we met in my kitchen.’
Teddy smiles enigmatically. ‘You can’t tell?’ she asks, and Pauline would swear she now sounds like a character from that show she watches with Ivy and Seb –The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
‘I haven’t got a clue,’ Pauline confesses.
Teddy holds a dramatic pause before grinning. ‘I’m Canadian,’ she admits, adding, ‘But my parents were Australian-Irish and French-Italian. The accent throws a lot of people. I like it that way.’ She shrugs.
‘So wait.’ Pauline struggles to get her head around this brand-new information. ‘You’re not even American at all?’
‘Nope.’
Pauline gapes at her non-American, non-perfect-haired friend, as Ivy giggles, turning doe-eyed to Seb. ‘What shall we do with all this freedom, after your mum and Audrey’s extended incarceration?’
Pauline wonders how Ivy might look in her mother’s wedding veil and whether they would consider having children. She’d love to be a grandma.
‘Shall we go duty-free shopping?’ Teddy suggests and everyone murmurs their agreement.
They head down to the atrium via the main staircase. Pauline’s now seen it several times but she still stares around herself in awe at the grand entrance. It is exactly like that bit inTitanicwhere Kate walks down to see Leo in a tuxedo waiting for her, and for a moment Pauline feels a thrill, wondering if they might end up hitting an iceberg – wouldn’t that be fun!
They pass rows of endless designer boutiques, talking about what show they’ll see later that night at the on-boat theatre. Last night’s performance was like seeing an episode ofStrictly Come Dancingin real life, without the joke act MP. They pass the boat’s fitness centre and all laugh at the idea of using a gym while on holiday.
‘You know there’s a library on deck eleven?’ Teddy says and they all ooh and aah, agreeing plans to head up and find a new novel later. One they won’t get round to reading beside the many on-board pools.
‘Oh, by the way, Mum,’ Seb says brightly. ‘The solicitors have emailed. The searches are back. It’s looking like wemight be able to complete on the house sooner than we thought.’
‘That’s wonderful, sweetheart.’ Pauline claps her hands.
