Audrey is amused by this, as she seems to be by so much. ‘My husband, Harold, was obsessed with cars,’ she says. ‘He used to talk endlessly and tediously about the most expensive vehicles in the world. There’s a Rolls-Royce somewhere out there that costs thirty million dollars, did you know that? The Rolls-Royce La Rose Noire Droptail. He called it “a piece of driveable art”.’ She snorts, her white hair wobbling with amusement. ‘Absolute drivel. I should’ve killed him there and then just for that.’
Paula winces at her casual reference to murder.
Audrey continues with her lesson. ‘They have another one called the Boat Tail that’s only twenty-eight million dollars.Or you can get something called a Pagani Zonda HP Barchetta that’s eighteen point five million.’
‘How do you remember these things?’ Paula murmurs in awe. She can’t remember anything. Yesterday she called her elbow an arm-knee.
Audrey grins, tapping the side of her head. ‘It’s not quite a photographic memory but it’s close enough.’ She looks away. ‘Though there’s plenty I’d love to forget.’
Teddy fans herself with her hand, long, pink nails flapping. ‘I always quite liked the look of those Bugatti cars. I saw one in the US that looked like the Batmobile. It was only sixteen million dollars.’
‘What kind of car doyouown?’ Paula asks her curiously. Teddy is, after all, the richest of the group, by quite a long way. And today she looks even richer. She’s wearing tailored trousers that taper in such a way as to emphasise the bottom she seems so proud of. On her top half, she’s wearing a luxe, cashmere jumper, topped with a Burberry trench coat.
Teddy half-smiles. ‘I live in London, babe. Why would I need a car? I use a Knightsbridge car service that operates near my apartment. The chauffeurs get me wherever I need to go.’ She pauses. ‘Or I just – y’know – take an Uber! I might be ridiculously wealthy but I’m still a human being who appreciates a car turning up in thirty seconds flat.’ She makes a face. ‘Although my star rating has been dreadful ever since Paula the Dog arrived in my life.’ She glares down at the scruffy mutt.
Ivy steps forward, looking at Paula kindly. ‘Which car do you like best?’
Paula scans the room, her eyes returning again and again to the Porsche.
‘She wants the red sporty one!’ Audrey crows.
‘But it’s eighty-six thousand pounds!’ Paula says, a little horrified.
‘Don’t forget that extra five hundred and fifty-five pounds.’ Teddy is amused again.
‘That’s thestartingprice,’ Audrey reminds them. ‘If you want it in red or if you’re getting any of that clever seat stitching thingy she mentioned, you’ll probably need to find at least another twenty grand or so.’
Paula shakes her head with determination. ‘It’s too much. I can’t.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Teddy says, hands on hips. ‘Firstly, you have twenty million.’
‘Nearly twenty-one,’ Ivy murmurs.
‘And secondly,’ Teddy continues, ‘it’s time to start enjoying this money.’ She grins. ‘You know, when I won, one of the first things I did – after killing my husband, of course – was to go to Vegas. I stayed in a penthouse at The Bellagio and spent sixty grand in the casinos.’ She shrugs. ‘It was fun, but to be honest, I prefer Great Yarmouth. The arcades are so much better and, holy crap, babe, don’t get me started on the mini golf. It’sfantastic.’
Paula nods, but she’s trying to imagine how an American would even know about Great Yarmouth. The Brits have tried so hard to keep it a secret from the rest of the world.
Audrey joins in excitedly, ‘I went on holiday, too, I took my parents on a cruise. They were absolutely mad about the on-deck water park. Ooh, we should go on a cruise together one day! What do you think?’
The other three regard her blankly. ‘Yourparents?’ Teddy asks at last in a stunned voice. ‘Like, you took them . . . in an urn?’
Audrey huffs good-naturedly. ‘No, and I don’t like what you’re implying. I’m only eighty-one, thank you. We Swifts live until we’re at least one hundred and twenty.’
Ivy straightens up, preparing herself to speak. She does so quietly. ‘The first thing I bought after I won the money was a boat.’ She looks around the group proudly and Teddy gives her an encouraging nod. ‘I’d always wanted one. Much more than a house or a car or holidays. I always loved being on the water. It felt so free, and I loved the idea of having that freedom whenever I wanted.’ She looks down, fiddling with a small silver ring on her middle finger. ‘Being in the middle of the ocean away from everything is the best thing in the world.’
This is the most Ivy has spoken since Paula met her, and she resists an urge to reach out and give her a hug. Audrey puts up no such fight and gathers the younger woman up in her arms.
‘I bet it’s a lovely boat!’ she says, patting Ivy. ‘With an awful lot of freedom. We’ll all have to go out on it sometime. Forget the cruise, we’ll go on a yachting trip, eh, Paula?’ Paula the Dog barks at this and Audrey nods at her. ‘You too, my darling.’
Paula the Human smiles. ‘I’d like that.’ She turns to face the big red sports car again, nodding to herself. ‘Oh my goodness.’ She takes a giant breath. ‘I think I’m going to buy it.’
‘Francesca!’ Audrey calls out, waving towards the office. The older woman is giving Paula no chance to change her mind. The sales consultant is with them in moments.
‘Have you made a decision?’ she asks and the four women all nod in unison.
Teddy steps forward. ‘She only won twenty-one million on the lottery, so we’ve ruled out the Rolls-Royce La Rose Noire Droptail,’ she says smoothly, turning to Audrey and Paula to offer a casual wink. ‘But we’ll take the Porsche here.’
‘Not in red though,’ Paula adds quickly.
