Paula opens her mouth to explain and then closes it again.
This is the first time she’s had to tell someone that John’s dead since that awful, horrible day with her children. Tilly informed everyone else who needed to know, and then of course, the newspapers told everyone who didn’t need to know.
Apart from these two strangers.
Still she says nothing and they wait, looking at her curiously. She tries to gather herself. She just has to say the words. John is dead. John has died. I’m afraid John had a terrible accident and is no longer with us. He is late. He is of the past. He is a goner.
‘He’s not . . . He’s not . . .’ she tries to find the words but what comes out is only . . . ‘here. He’s not . . . here.’
The man narrows his eyes at her. It’s very clear she’s lying. Behind him, the second man – not nearly so large but still intimidating – waves at the group of photographers scatteredabout the roadside. They’ve been watching the exchange with interest. ‘What’s all this about?’ he asks.
‘It’s nothing,’ Paula replies in a high voice and they stare at her again. ‘It’s just a . . . neighbour,’ she adds quickly. ‘They’ve just won . . .The X Factor.’
‘The X Factorisn’t on telly anymore,’ the second man says, his voice suspicious. ‘It ended in December 2018, unless you count the two spin-offs Simon Cowell aired in 2019,The X Factor: CelebrityandThe X Factor: The Band.’ The large man regards his companion with surprise.
‘Oh, um,’ Paula tries to think. ‘Maybe it was one of the other shows then. Erm . . .Pop Idolmaybe?’
The second man snorts with amusement. ‘Lady, that show hasn’t aired in—’
‘Never mind that!’ the large man interrupts impatiently. It’s clear he’s in charge. And not a fan of reality shows. He steps a little closer, his face pursed and full of menace. He raises a finger, pointing at Paula’s face. ‘Tell John that Craig was here.’ He pauses, his eyes dark and frightening. ‘And tell him we’ll be back.’
Paula stares at them as they slowly walk away, heading for a black car parked badly a way down the road. She feels fear creep across her skin.
She’s never heard of a Craig before, she’s almost certain of it. Is he from John’s snooker club? Maybe he’s a work colleague or an old friend?
No, not a friend. There was nothing friendly about his demeanour.
Paula shivers and pulls her coat tighter around her as she considers his final words.
They’re coming back.
7
Paula stares up at the familiar building, fighting the mix of feelings bubbling up in her chest. She’s worked at the care home for close to fifteen years and it’s mostly been a happy time, a place of solace.
There were hard times, of course. Many of the residents were difficult, or rude or in pain. And Paula had been a witness to an awful lot of loss over the years. It was natural when you were dealing with older people, but it didn’t get any easier. At Christmas, they’d lost three residents in one week! Two of them, Vinnie and Floyd, were among her favourites, always joking and offering up sweets. The third – Handsy Harry, shudder – was less of a favourite, but still, it was very difficult dealing with so much death all the time.
You’d have thought she might’ve been better equipped when she got that call about John.
Either way, her years working here have mostly been good. Mostly happy. It was somewhere Paula felt safe and normal when things were hard. But it’s starting to feel like she’ll never feel safe or normal again. Not after everything that’s happened.
Full of trepidation, Paula takes a deep breath and pushes open the glazed double doors. The familiar smell of the placehits her immediately, almost making her dizzy. It’s a mixture of musty hospital scents and lavender perfume. Paula rather likes it.
Approaching the reception desk, the young man gives her a double take.
‘Paula?’ He can’t hide his astonishment.
‘Hello, Sonny,’ Paula greets him shyly, feeling self-conscious.
‘What areyoudoing here?’ The receptionist gapes at her.
‘I’m hoping I can come back to work,’ she shrugs, still smiling.
‘But you won . . .’ Sonny waves his hands, then whispers the rest, ‘You won twenty-one million!I saw all the newspapers – you’re loaded!’ He chokes a little on the words. ‘Don’t tell me you’d come back to this dump when you’ve got all that money in the bank!’
Paula winces at the description of her work home as adump. Sonny has only been here a year and it’s been clear from day one that he didn’t think much of the place.
She swallows. ‘I’ve just had a bit of time off. I was always coming back.’
