Will winked at me.
It would be okay. This was just practice, and I was safe. No matter how uncomfortable Everard made me, I could end it at any moment by stabbing him.
“The hardest part of fighting with a knife is commitment,” Everard said. “You must make the decision to hurt someone, and you must commit completely. You get one chance at a good thrust. If you fail, your attacker will kill you.”
I had learned that lesson already from Lecke on the Estret Bridge.
My mouth felt dry, so I had to force the words out. “Commitment isn’t a problem for me.”
Everard smiled. The grin lit up his face, and the menacing predator melted away in an instant.
“No, I imagine not. It’s getting you to stop that’s the problem.”
I had never thought of myself as a violent person. I had gotten into a couple of school fights, once in elementary school and once when I was thirteen, but neither time was I the aggressor. Nothing in my twenty-six years had indicated that when pushed into a corner, I was capable of beating a human being to a bloody pulp.
Maybe Solentine was right, and this was inside of me all along. It just never had a chance to come out because my life used to be blissfully peaceful. I had never appreciated how safe I was until I came here. If I somehow found a way back, could I even return to my life? Would I be able to slide right back in where I left off or would it be like trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole?
“We’re going to do this again, and this time, you’re going to run away,” Everard said. “Remember, thrust until you get free, then turn and flee. Don’t try to finish me off. Don’t kick at me while screaming obscenities. Stab and run.”
I gripped my knife. “No promises.”
Osor dor mi Damaes. Re braste ca . . .
Or was itre braste cä? It could be read either way and something was telling me that there should’ve been a squiggle above theato indicate that, but there wasn’t one in the books. Maybe they didn’t bother with it . . .
“Yes, Kaiden?”
He blinked in the doorway with my study door half-open. “How did you know I was there?”
I pointed at the candle on the table. The evening was really dark tonight, so I’d added it to my two lanterns.
“The flame moved when you swung the door open. You’ll have to do better if you want to be sneaky. Do you need something?”
“Lute says someone named Digi is here with her bodyguard.”
“Here? At our front door?”
He nodded.
Crap. Everard was in the basement, having another private meeting with one of his retainers. I had no idea how he would react to finding the stepdaughter of the man who had killed his mother on our doorstep.
Damn it.
“Lute says he has a rag Clover used to mop the floor, so if we need for Digi to wait, he’s got the rug handled.”
Oh for the love of . . . Apparently, Lute didn’t just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.
“Tell him to show them to the meeting room. And ask Clover to brew some of that fancy tea; it would be lovely.”
“Yes, my lady.” He gave me a mock bow.
“And don’t tell Everard. I mean it this time.”
“Yes, my lady.”
“And be less of a smartass.”
He grinned and took off.
