So maybe she had wanted to avoid it a little bit.
And she didn’t know if it made it better or worse that Reese Devereux so clearly had her number.
Reese turned her blinker on before turning onto the road that would take them back to The Stone’s Throw. “And I’m not trying to be pushy. Honestly. I just…”
Sydney’s heart beat a little faster when Reese reached down and entangled their fingers. “I don’t want to be something that’s an escape for you, Sydney. I know that much.” And that same heart skipped at least a full beat when Reese’s words sank in, when she let the softness of Reese’s voice melt through her veins.
This wasn’t an escape. It wassofar from that.
It was just easier to pretend that along with everything elsegoing on in her life, this didn’t have the ability to send her life careening if it imploded.
But it was Reese she’d confided her deepest insecurities in, who’d given her the space but also built the trust to talk about and work through her messy feelings.
And it was Reese…
It was Reese.
“I have feelings for you,” Sydney blurted out, surprising them both, the words hanging like a living, breathing thing between them. But once she admitted it, she found that she wanted to keep going. “It’s not just attraction, though I do recognize that’s a very, very real feeling that I have, too,” she said with a shy smile.
Reese’s stare turned toward her again, her own face dusted with a soft blush, though Sydney couldn’t tell how she was feeling.
Was it a blush indicating that she felt the same way? Or was it that Sydney had embarrassed herself and Reese had secondhand embarrassment for her?
They pulled into the lot at the inn, Reese still silent. For seconds that felt like excruciating minutes, Sydney waited for whatever would come next.
How had she not noticed it happening? That all the confusion swirling around in her life was taking a back seat to her growing feelings for Reese. That, in spite of the tumult, it wasbecauseof Reese that she felt more like herself than she had in years. That, maybe, she was even becoming a better version of herself because of it.
She didn’t want to lose that.
And she didn’t want to lose the way it felt to hold Reese in her arms, to give her the same comfort and security that was given back to her in spades.
But, the reality was, it wasn’t her decision to make.
That, truly, was the hardest thing about putting her heart in someone else’s hands.
Reese turned her full attention toward Sydney then, eyes deep and magnetic, and Sydney just wanted to fall into them. Into her. “Cards on the table?”
Sydney nodded but didn’t speak, afraid to breathe.
“I am insanely attracted to you. And I cannot believe how you can calm me down so easily, help me feel centered in spite of everything going on in my life.”
“That’s—”
“Let me finish,” Reese said, squeezing Sydney’s hand.
She gulped back her words and took a steadying breath instead.
“But we’re both in crazy places in our lives, and Idoworry that once you find your center again, this place—this life—won’t be enough for you. And this thing between us is so new that I don’t want to hold you back. ”
“Is this about the commentator job?” Sydney asked, trying to make sense of everything Reese was saying. It did make sense, in a way, but it also felt like an excuse, even if that wasn’t fair.
“Partly,” Reese said, her eyes locked on Sydney. “I think you should give it a try. Your relationship with tennis has changed, but it doesn’t need to end. Not unless you really, truly want it to be over.” Sydney was considering Reese’s words when she spoke again, imploringly. “I don’t want you to be afraid to try things. To live your life.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I was cheated on a year ago and left to pick up the pieces of my romantic life. Wanting this—wantingyou—isn’t some easy thing for me. It’s hard and scary and makes me shift between wanting to jump up and down and pass out.”
“I want this, too, Sydney. And I’ll be here. But I want to take things slowly to make sure you have the time and space to explore all your options. I don’t want to be the thing you pick because it’s the safe bet.”
Was Reese not hearing her? Sydney felt the blood rushing through her ears, her heart thumping hard against her chest.
