Landon noticed Will and from the sudden silence in the living room, Will had also realized who was at the door.
“No problem. I sometimes work for Mrs. Martinelli for extra gas money.” He fidgeted while I quickly counted out money, including the biggest tip I could manage with what cash I had on hand. He pocketed it with a murmur of thanks, but didn’t take a step back. I knew why he lingered, of course, and I couldn’t blame him.
“We’re still looking for her, Landon,” I promised. “We’ll find her.”
“And maybe she’ll come home soon on her own. She did before,” he agreed, but he didn’t believe his own words even as he said them.
“That’s what we’re hoping.” I gently gripped his shoulder, an even weaker comfort than my words, but it was all I had.
“Yeah.” He took a shuddering breath, forcing a tiny smile when he looked back up at me. “I’ve gotta get back. Thanks, Detective Parker.”
Once he left, I took the pizza box back to the coffee table. It smelled amazing, but my appetite seemed to have left with Landon.
“Donovan…” Will leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, hands buried in his hair. “We’re going to find her, right?”
“One way or another, she’ll likely turn up, yes.” I slumped on the couch, turned slightly to face Will.
“But if she doesn’t come home by the end of the weekend, it’s not looking good, is it?”
I couldn’t give him hopeful lies, like I had with Landon. “No, it’s not.”
“I just keep hoping that, since Alex hasn’t seen her, that she’s okay somewhere. Is that messed up? I’m a detective. I trained for years for this, and now I’m sitting here hoping a psychic doesn’t end up doing my job for me.”
“Believe me, I get it, Will. This isn’t something they covered in any training manuals,” I agreed. “Listen, I know we never really talked much about what happened that day at the farm with Alex.” Beside me, he tensed up and for a moment, he didn’t even breathe.
“What about it?” he asked carefully, without looking at me.
“It was a fucked up night,” I said, and he snorted.
“That’s an understatement.”
“A lot of really weird crap went down, and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, I guess.”
“It was crazy, but it is what it is. I’m fine.”
“That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve heard since Carly Pearson tried to convince us she was only holding that beer for a friend.” Honestly, no one had more audacity than a drunk 17-year-old trying to get out of trouble.
“Last I heard from her mom, she’s still grounded,” he said, and his smile probably would have convinced most people it was genuine, but not me.
“Good. Maybe she’ll learn a lesson. I’m not getting distracted, though. Tell me what’s wrong, Will. Please?” I tacked on when he got that stubborn look on his face, like he was going to shut down on me.
He grabbed a piece of pizza and took a bite, clearly stalling, but I could be as patient as he could be stubborn. He choked down another bite, then put the slice back in the box. When he finally spoke, his voice was smaller than I’d ever heard it and he curled in on himself, shoulders hunched.
“I fucked up and I don’t know how to fix it.”
That wasn’t even on the list of things I’d been anticipating. “What are you talking about? What do you think you fucked up?”
“You both almost died because of me. There’s no way to undo that, Donovan. I don’t understand how you guys don’t hate me.”
“Will, I’ll be honest here. I have no idea what you’re talking about. You restrained Nate andkept himfrom hurting anyone.”
“Alex or Thomas or whoever nearly got his hands on that gun because I fucked up and didn’t secure it like I should have. What would have happened if you hadn’t been able to hold him? We’d all be dead right now.”
Everything finally clicked, and memories of that day rushed back. Alex, possessed by Thomas McAvell, holding the gun to his own temple. Alex fighting not to pull the trigger and me tackling him to the ground. The gun had fallen and I’d counted on my partner to secure it so I could focus on Alex. Except… Will hadn’t, too stunned to react until I yelled at him.
“Fuck, Will,” I breathed. “I’m not mad at you about that.”
“How could you not be? It’s basic training for every officer. If a weapon is loose, that’s our top priority. But instead, I froze like an idiot and he almost got his hands on it again.” He finally looked up at me, blue eyes dark with recrimination and guilt.
