Prologue
Caterina – 25 years ago…
“Mom… Mom.” My heart aches as Charlotte’s innocent voice echoes from her playmat.
I stand frozen in the doorway while time feels like it’s slipping through my fingers. Four years have passed since I left the Cosa Nostra under a false name, and I’ve been living in a bubble of normalcy ever since. But the clock is ticking, and my time is about to run out. Five years was all I was given to live freely before my father, the ruthless Don, Marco Carlisi, would come to drag me back to the life I worked so hard to escape from.
My first year gave me an amazing taste of freedom, and one morning I found love. Naively and hopelessly, I was drawn to him. My James, a man from a humble background, untouched by the underworld. With his gentle smile, he asked me out to dinner. I nervously accepted, unsure how to react to such a kind gesture. But when he showed up at my doorstep with a bunch of roses, I knew there was something special about him. Growing up in the underworld, the men were either family or worked for my father, so either way I was always given the cold shoulder as a female. But James opened my eyes, and I started to see the world from another view. He constantly showered me withpraise, small gestures, and gifts, making it known how much he loved me. And then I stupidly had to fall pregnant by accident, of course! Shattering my heart to pieces, I booked an abortion. I was mad at myself, wondering how I could’ve been so reckless. But sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, staring at the other expecting mothers and babies, I had a change of heart and walked out without thinking about it any further. My sweet Charlotte was born seven months later, the perfect blend of James and me, so innocent and bright.
“You love your momma, don’t you, Charlotte?” I watch as James reaches down, lifting our baby girl with tenderness from her playmat. Tears prick at my eyes, betraying the fierce mask I wear daily. James must notice, because concern deepens his gaze. “Are you crying, my love?” he asks softly. I can count on one hand the times he has seen me cry over the years. I was taught not to show my emotions from a young age—if we did, my father would punish us.
I let my sobs flow freely, the weight of my secret pressing hard inside me. “I need to tell you something and you’re going to hate me for it.” James walks over to me and brushes away my tears, his deep brown eyes fixated on me with such care that only he could possess. “I could never hate you, Cate.” Charlotte bounces up and down in his arms, full of energy.
I step back out of his reach and sit on the lounge chair so I can search his face for any sign of upcoming judgment. “My name isn’t Cate Rodgers…” I breathe slowly, grasping my hands in front of me, building the strength to finally say the words I have wanted to since I first met him. “It’s Caterina Carlisi. My father is Marco Carlisi, the Don of the Cosa Nostra.”
Shock flickers across his face like someone has just come and slapped him hard. I take the courage to continue before he can speak, my voice trembling. “I’ve always dreamt of a simple life since I was alittle girl, a life free from my father’s soldiers, the legacy, and bloodshed that came from being a part of the mafia. But when my brother died, it changed my father. He has no other sons left to carry on the family name. He knows I don’t want to rule the Cosa Nostra, but I no longer have the choice as his only living heir.”
James’s hands tighten around Charlotte as he starts pacing the room in front of me, frowning, the weight of my secret settling over him heavily.
“We have an agreement,” I continue. “I have five years to live my dream life, then I must return and claim my place as the rightful heir to the Cosa Nostra.”
He stops pacing, his eyes furiously zeroing in on me. “Three years we’ve been together. Three DAMN years and you never told me any of this? Does he know about Charlotte?”
I nod, looking directly at Charlotte, who smiles back at me innocently. It’s not her fault she was born into the wrong family. “Yes, nothing gets past him.”
Anger flares in James’s voice as he starts to pace the room again. Charlotte starts to giggle, thinking we’re playing a game. “What exactly was your plan, Cate? Drag us into that world with you? Or were you going to leave us when the five years were up?”
Plan? For the last couple of years, I tried not to think about the day I had to go back. The thought of what might happen to my family always became too overwhelming.
Tears continue to spill out of me as I confess, “I could never leave you. You’re my everything, James… Please, come back with me.”
His voice hardens, a growl of protectiveness, as he holds Charlotte closer to him, as if trying to shield her. But I would never allow anyone to harm her. “Everyone’s heard the rumors, Cate, the horrors of the Cosa Nostra, from your father’s hands, and especially for girls. I willnot allow Charlotte to grow up in that nightmare. Your father will never come near her.”
“James, please…” But I fear my pleas are falling on deaf ears. “My father won’t harm her, she’s his bloodline, his legacy,” I say as I rush over to him, reaching up to cup his face, but he pushes my hands away.
“You have one hour to pack your things and leave. From this day onwards, Charlotte’s mother is dead.” The caring, soft-spoken James that I have loved for the last couple years has disappeared. The man in front of me is colder, he stands rigid, staring at me, but I can see he’s fighting an internal battle in his mind.
“Please don’t do this!” I cry out at him, trying to reach for Charlotte, but he moves further away from me, shielding her as if I am already dead to her. “Please talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say?” he asks. “Do you want to hear me say I love you or that we have a great life together? Cause I do and we did.” He shakes his head, now fighting back the tears. “There’s nothing special about me, Cate. I wouldn’t fit into the Cosa Nostra with you.”
“Just come be with me,” I plead.
“I won’t be a trophy husband… I have spent years working hard to get where I am.”
“I just want my family with me, James. We don’t have to figure this out right now, we still have a couple months until I need to go back,” I say, trying to reassure him that everything will be okay.
For a moment, I see a softness flicker over his features, his posture relaxes for a second, love fills his eyes as I watch him look down at Charlotte in his arm. She reaches up to touch his face. “Dadda,” she babbles. But it’s short lived. My secret is too heavy for him to accept.
“I can’t do this… I’m sorry, Cate.” He shakes his head, stepping out into the world. Charlotte waves innocently over his shoulder at me as he slams the door shut.
Alone once more, I crumple to the floor, clutching my heart necklace James got me for my birthday. Sobs wrack my body until the silence reclaims the room, and I have no tears left to give. Wiping the last of my tears, I grab Charlotte’s baby photo album from the shelf and walk out the front door.
I may be returning to the Cosa Nostra earlier than I wanted to, to accept the fate I was never able to escape, but I will no longer live under the shadows of my father—the Don.
1
Luciano
