“I want a son, mon bien-aimé. But every time I’ve pictured our child, I always see a little girl with long chestnut locks and eyes the exact blue asyours.”
“Same for me, Tristan. I see a little boy named Romaric, and he has your always-tanned skin and exotic blue eyes. But I feel like there’s more going on than what you’re tellingme.”
“I’m a Dominantandan inbred. I’m not sure what kind of genes I’m going to pass to this child. Boys are more sexually aggressive. It just feels safer to have agirl.”
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And there is nothing wrong with this baby, boy orgirl.”
I’ve been increasingly uneasy as Emma Lia’s pregnancy has progressed. My worry escalated to a point where I could no longer sleep. That’s where Emma Lia drew the line and told me that we had to confide in Cat concerning my parentage. And Cat’s been great, running every genetic and chromosomal study possible with the baby still in utero. She assures us that all looks well, but I can’t stop worrying. Emma Lia says that’s what a good parent does. If that’s the case, then I’m going to be the best fatherever.
Another pain begins and Emma Lia stops and grasps the doorframe. “Oh, it’s definitelytime.”
Emma Lia is dilated five centimeters—the halfway point—when we arrive at the hospital. Cat says that she’s making great progress and probably won’t be in labor for a longtime.
All natural. Nothing for pain. That’s how Emma Lia wants to labor and give birth to our child. I admire her for that, but damn. This Dom can hardly stand seeing his submissive wife in this muchpain.
“I knew labor was going to hurt, but I never imagined that it was going to be like this.” Her breathing is no longer slow and deep. She’s panting. “It’s so bad, Tristan. I’ve never felt anything likethis.”
I can hardly stand watching her writhe all over the bed. “Get theepidural.”
“No, no,no.”
“I’m not getting off on this, mon bien-aimé. I take no joy init.”
“It’s not about that. I want to do thisnaturally.”
“It’s your decision. Whatever youwant.”
We’ve been here for two hours, and Emma Lia was dilated seven centimeters last time she was checked. Cat said she thought Emma Lia might be ready to push in an hour or so. God, I hope so. This is horrible towatch.
“Hold my hand, Tristan.” She squeezes it. Hard. “I don’t think I can do this. It hurts toomuch.”
I lift her chin so we’re face-to-face. “Look at me.” Her eyes meet mine and I see tears there. But not the kind that I like. “You can do this for him. And all of this will instantly go away when he comes out and he’s in yourarms.”
“You’re finally agreeing withme?”
“Yes.”
She squeezes her lids tightly. “Get Cat. I need topush.”
“Don’t pushyet.”
“I… can’t…stop.”
I press the button for the nurse. “You can stop. It’s just like edging. Fightit.”
She opens her eyes and looks at me. “Command me to stop, or I’m going to push this baby out rightnow.”
I grasp her chin while we wait on the nurse to come to the room. “Breathe, mon bien-aimé. Do not push.” She grasps me around the back of my neck, and our eyes remain locked on one another. “That’s it. Keep breathing. In and out.Breathe.”
Cat and the nurse come into theroom.
“She says she needs topush.”
“Well, let’s see what’s goingon.”
Cat puts on a glove and reaches beneath the covers. “She’s right. It’s babytime.”
The moment has arrived. We finally get to meet our child—the child that was conceived out of fear and love but mostly love. It’s true. I was ruthless, and I should be ashamed. Any man with a conscience would be, but I’m not an ashamed man. I’m a man who loves his wife and child beyondreason.
