I touch the dip in my throat where my collar once rested. I miss it. I want it back or another to replace the one that was stolen. But I can’t ask Tristan to collar me again. That’s his decision to make, and he’ll do it when he feels it’sright.
To go from being his collared submissive who provided him with what he needed to his non-collared submissive who can no longer physically fulfill all of his sexual needs… it shakes my confidence. There’s this place inside of my head warning me that he could turn elsewhere if I don’t give him what a Domneeds.
But then I remind myself of the lengths to which Tristan went in order to ensure that I didn’t slip away from him. No man does the things he has done and then throws it all away over a few months of vanilla sex. He knew what he was doing when he chose to get me pregnant. Surely, he realized that we wouldn’t be able to continue doing everything as we hadbeen.
Maryse studies me. “What do you think of thisone?”
I look at myself in the mirror. “I like the shape and style of this dress, but I feel like the color is too white for my skintone.”
“I was about to say the exact same thing,” Averysays.
Avery and I share a brain when it comes to most things, but especially fashion. Our taste in clothing is nearly identical, and there’s no one else on earth that I’d want to help me choose my wedding dress. But when I do choose it for real, Nana has to behere.
“I think that I’ll look washed out in this color. Let’s try something with a little more yellowundertone.”
We go through a few more dresses, and nothing catches myeye.
“Can we look at something that would work for a beach destination wedding in case she decides on that?” Averyasks.
“Tristan will probably want to take me to Vegas and elope.” And why wouldn’t we? Neither of us has a huge family or hordes of friends that we’d invite to an elaborate churchwedding.
“I bet he’ll want to do something more romantic than eloping inVegas.”
“I hope so. I’d love a destination beachwedding.”
“I have a dress that I think would be perfect for a beach wedding. It’s a formfitting shell beneath a layer of gossamer tulle. The neckline is plunging but what’s cool about it is the cold-shoulder design. That element changes the look entirely. It’s a very romantic dress, but it almost looks like lingerie because it’s so thin and airy.” Maryse grins. “It’s very sexy and not a dress that just anyone can pull off. Would you be up for something likethat?”
Romantic. Sexy. Lingerie. Tristan would lovethat.
“Let’s tryit.”
Maryse pulls the gown, and I become excited as she takes it out of the bag. I didn’t get that sensation when I saw theothers.
“You’re smiling. That’s a goodsign.”
“I love it. It’s stunning.” And I may be heartbroken if I don’t look good init.
I hold my hair out of the way, and she drags the zipper up. “This could beit.”
“I’m not going to look until I’m on the platform under the goodlights.”
I gather the bottom and walk out, my eyes avoiding the mirror until Maryse has smoothed the dress and it’s lying perfectly. “Okay. Look and tell us what youthink.”
I look up at myself in the mirror, and I instantly want to cry. I love it. Love it with all of my heart, but I’m afraid to say the words aloud. “What do you think,Ave?”
“It’sperfect.”
“I was afraid to say so, but it is, isn’tit?”
“I can see you in this dress, standing on a beach at sunset withTristan.”
“I cantoo.”
Avery lifts my hair and twists it upward. “Your hair in a romantic upsweep of some sort, but no veil. Just something floral andsimple.”
“That’s exactly what I wasthinking.”
“Classic, understated jewelry. Nothingsparkly.”
