“She was tied to the bed with a spreader bar between her legs and wearing a blindfold when I pulled it out. She didn’tknow.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,Tristan.”
“I’mnot.”
“How long has it beenout?”
“Over amonth.”
“Are you certain that it came out intact? There could be some serious complications if part of it is still in theuterus.”
Okay. So now I’m a little concerned. “It looked like a white plastic T with a string attached toit.”
“Sounds like it was intact, but I want to check for myself to besure.”
“They did an ultrasound last night and didn’t see ababy.”
“Well, there’s a definite chance that you’ve been successful at getting her pregnant, but she isn’t far enough along for the embryo to show on a scan. How many days since her last periodstarted?”
“Three weeks and three days. She should start this Wednesday.” I know because I keep up with her periods better than shedoes.
“I want you to call the office and tell the receptionist that I want to see her in the clinic on Friday. We’ll do an hCG, and if it’s positive, we’ll have a look with the ultrasound and see if we can find a sac in the uterus. If her period comes between now and Friday, I still want to seeher.”
“Does she need to be taking prenatal vitamins in themeantime?”
“It’s fine for her to take over-the-counter prenatal vitamins until we see what’s goingon.”
“Thanks, Cat. We’ll see you onFriday.”
* * *
I’ve pamperedEmma Lia for days. I’ve brought all of her meals on a tray to her in bed; prepared her bath every night with a fragrant bath bomb, her favorite music playing; given her my undershirts to sleep in; and readAnna Kareninaaloud to her until she has fallenasleep.
But tonight, I’m puttingAnna Kareninaon the shelf. It’s time for us to talk about us and our relationship. I’ve considered my words for days—over a week really—and I feelprepared.
“No reading tonight,love.”
“Do you have business to tend?” sheasks.
“Yes, but not with the casinos. My business is with you. It’s been almost two weeks. We have to talk about us and where we go fromhere.”
Her chest expands and then deflates. “I’ve had time to think about us, and I still have a lot of uncertainty about where our relationship is going. I only know that you owe me honesty. Because without that, we are nothing, Tristan. We are not Dom and sub. We are not Master and slave. We aren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend. You’re just a weak man taking advantage ofme.”
I hate that she sees me that way, but every word that she’s saying is true. “You are right, mon bien-aimé.”
“As my Dom, you haveresponsibilities.”
“I’ve had time to reflect upon what I’ve done, and I’ve come to see many things that I didn’t before. You were right when you said that I was ruthless. I am a ruthless motherfucker. My actions were selfish without regard for you or the child that I might have been creating with you. And it may be the hardest lesson I’ve ever learned, but I now know that although you are my submissive, you are your own person. Your being here and everything that you give me is of your choosing. You are a butterfly who landed in my open palm and if I close my hand, your choice to stay is gone. But if I leave my hand open and your choice is to stay, your presence in my life is even moreprecious.”
She moves to all fours and crawls into my lap, allowing me to cradle her like a child. “A butterfly in your palm—that’s a perfectanalogy.”
I lower my face, resting my cheek on the top of her head. “I may be a hard person to love, but when I love, it’s with everything that I have. And I give you all that Ihave.”
“I know that you’re not perfect, Tristan. I should want to slap your face. I should want to scream at you and tell you that you’re a selfish bastard. I should push you away and tell you that I hate you. That’s what a normal woman would do. But I am not a normal woman. I am a submissive. And I am yours. You’re the only one that Iwant.”
I squeeze her a little tighter. “You give me everything that I need, mon bien-aimé. But more importantly, you give me feelings that I never thought I needed. I love you, and it is my greatest hope that you can be patient and wait, giving me time to proveit.”
“Love is patient. I can wait until the end oftime.”
