And now I’m surrounded by it.
Yes, my father was the best parent ever. He visited me in Switzerland and spent significant time with me when he could, but there was always something that was missing from my life. I would never tell the group that I loved my father and looked up to him, they would probably look at me suspiciously.
Did he make some mistakes? Yes, big ones that impacted everything in his life. I told him, the last time I saw him, that he shouldn’t trust his new client, but he did it anyway. Now I feelthe obligation to rectify that mistake. But does that mean that I should stop living?
I wish I could say that I could get used to this tranquility for the rest of my life, but I’d be lying.
“Gorgeous, you went away for a second,” Oliver says to me as he takes a sip of his whiskey. I shake my head and smile at him.
“My apologies. What were we talking about?” I look at M, and he squeezes my shoulder. This fucking man.
“We were discussing your father,” Oliver tells me. “And we’d hope you’d give us more insight into his life and you, quite frankly.” I look around the table, and instead of feeling like I’m being investigated, I feel genuine curiosity.
“So, you all want to know about me?” Everyone nods. I sigh and start talking.
“I lived in Sarajevo until I was four years old, and then my father sent me to live with my aunt in St. Gallen.”
“Why St. Gallen?” Sara inquires.
“And why at that age?” Adam follows up.
I answer both questions. “My aunt, on my father’s side, has always lived there, and she loved me. She didn’t have any children, so she gladly took me in.” I take a sip of my water and put the glass back down. “My father sent me away because the teachers here saw that I was a very gifted student and the boarding school there could provide adequate teaching and guidance.”
“She’s smarter than you, M,” Hana retorts to M. My man doesn’t even look hurt, he seems proud.
“Of course she is. Continue,ljubavi1,” he tells me as he kisses the top of my head. So I do.
“But, he also wanted to send me away to a place with stringent privacy laws and insane surveillance. Switzerland was the place to be for that.”
“He is right. I once tried to hack into a Swiss bank, and it was fucking difficult. Near impossible,” Hana explains to me.
“Totally. I excelled in school and started college when I was sixteen years old.” Adam whistles in appreciation and nods.
“We have another genius in our group.” I smile kindly at him. “What did you study?”
“I studied forensic psychology with a minor in interrogation.” I don't tell them about my shadow curriculum.
“Oh my God! Almost like me, M,” Sara chimes in and turns her attention to M. “I should torture you for keeping this woman away from us.”
“I don’t share, Sara.”
“We do.” I can’t help but laugh at Oliver’s innuendos because he means well. Josh sighs loudly and shakes his head.
“Anyways,” Sara continues. “When did you come back to Sarajevo?”
“When I graduated from college. I was actually visiting my father, and then—” I try to look wounded. “When I came to the house, he was gone. He left a piece of paper that he would come back for me, but that he needed to go.” A silence stretched across the beautiful patio, everybody taking in what I just said. Josh breaks the silence.
“Did you ever go back to your house?”
“After I saw that note, I went to places I thought he would be. I searched for days, but nothing turned up. When I returned to the house, it was burned down.” The moment those words left my lips, everybody’s attention perks up. They all lean forward in synchronization, even M. And why wouldn’t he? I never told anyone this.
“Lana, why didn’t you tell me this?” M asks me as he stares me down. I feel the crushing weight of his disappointment.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, we had such a good week.”
“We did.” He winks at me.
“Give me a fucking puke bag. Yuck,” Hana says, making a disgusted face. We chuckle a little bit, and Adam asks me a question I saw coming.
