I feel so fucking conflicted since I’m struggling with one question—is he the man I have been looking for all this time? We have spent so much time together that an ugly emotion took place:love.
Now he feels no love; I feel his fucking rage.
“No.” Please, Lana, keep that facade up. You are almost there. I utter my response at a great time—we are here—M parks abruptly, which makes me stumble forward.
“You are not to exit the car unless I tell you explicitly. Nod if you understand me.” I nod my head at this demand. He gets out of the car and grabs something from the trunk. When he gets to my door and opens it, I’m greeted with absolute fucking mania.
M is holding a pair of cuffs and a sniper rifle.
“I’m not getting out of this car, M,” I state to him. My little moment of rebellion is met with indifference and a big side of his stupid grin that I have grown to adore. He puts his left arm on the hood of the car.
“Get out of the car, Lana,” he says, extending his hand to me. “Now.” Reluctantly, I take it because this is the only way Imightget out of this unscathed. I step out of the car, but he doesn’t take his arm off the hood of the car. I’m trapped between his vehicle and him.
“You.” He inches his face closer. “Are.” A kiss on my cheek. “Delectable.” And a short peck on my mouth. I don’t want to do it, and my mind is screaming ‘no’, but I inch closer and close myeyes. When I don’t feel anything, I open them, and he is glaring at me.
“Turn around and hands on the hood.” He is not fucking around, as am I.
“I don’t know about that, M.” The defiant part of me loves daring him, but the logical side knows better. M puts the rifle around him with the help of a strap. Then he grabs my throat and squeezes, hard.
“You don’t have a fucking choice. Tonight.” He releases my throat and makes me turn around. He puts my hands on the hood. “I only want the truth, and you will give it to me.” M takes the cuffs and puts them around my wrists. He makes me turn around again, and his eyes are telling me what will happen next.
Chaos.
“We are going to take a little walk now. Follow me.” I push myself off the car and trail his footsteps. I luckily wore my big boots, so the melting snow isn’t seeping through them. The entrance to the forest is dark and grim, as is the forest itself. It’s a shadowy place where dreams come to die. I’m so lost in my thoughts and memories that I don’t immediately notice we are going the wrong way.
“You are going the wrong way. If we follow this road, we are going to end up on somebody else’s—” M stops dead in his tracks and slowly turns around to face me. His lips curled into a slow, dangerous grin.
I close my eyes, and when I open them, I exhale.
“Property.” I said way too much.
43
M“Property.” Now I have her. Lana has made herself known to me, and I intend to eliminate every shred of doubt I have of her. We are standing a couple of meters away from each other, and my hands reach for my sniper rifle.
I grab it, slide the strap over my shoulder, and point it toward her.
“On your knees. Now.” She gets down onto her knees, and I put the rifle right next to her. She is looking pliable right now. Ready to cater to my every demand. Even when I know that she is lying, I can’t help but get hard. My little hummingbird is everything I have wished for.
I stand up, and she is eye level with the zipper of my pants.
Perfect.
“Look at me, Lana,” I order her. With her big, beautiful eyes, she looks up at me, and they are filling up with tears.
“Just so you know, even with what I’m about to instill in you, I still love you.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck.
It came out so effortlessly that I didn’t even notice it at first. My brain has nothing to do with this—my heart is to blame.
The last time I truly said I loved someone was to mymama.
Lana’s brow furrows, and her mouth hangs open. She wasn’t fucking expecting this, and neither was I.
“Lana…” I don’t even know what to say. This is the fucking resolve I was talking about—I don’t have any while looking at her. It all evaporates as soon as I even think about her. The hold this woman has on me should be studied.
“I love you as well.”
