After a couple of minutes, I get up and remove the ropes. Her arms fall beside her, and she is spent. I can tell because she keeps staring at the ceiling and trying to catch her breath. I place my hand on her heart—trying to calm her down. She looks at me with bewildered eyes that make me smile. She wormed her way into my heart, and I’m not letting my little hummingbird fly away.
She calms down as her breathing turns normal again, and she strokes my face. Lana doesn’t take her eyes off mine, and nowIam breathing faster. Nobody has ever looked at me this way.
Fuck. I didn’t know that I needed this in my life, loving touches.
I kiss her on the forehead, go to the living room, and bring an ashtray, a cigarette, and some juice so I can sit by the window and smoke.
Lana sits up straight, and she looks well and thoroughly fucked.
“That was incredible.”
“I know, little hummingbird. A quick question before we go to bed,” I tell her.
“Sure, ask away.”
“What are you doing tomorrow night?”
“I’m having one of my gigs at the hotel where Elma and Armin got married. Why?”
“This is going to be so funny, but I’m actually attending a wedding there tomorrow. You were going to be my plus-one.” Lana laughs and covers her face. Wait, what’s so funny about that? It’s a given that she is going to be by my side for-fucking-ever.
“Sadly, I’m working the event tomorrow. What are you doing tomorrow all day?”
“I’m going to my car dealership in Tuzla and returning for the event in the evening. You?” I will watch her from afar, of course.
“A shift at the diner, but my boss is going to make me run some errands.” Her motherfucking boss, who can’t keep his hands to himself.
“Fine,” I say through gritted teeth as I put out my cigarette. “I need to be honest.” That got her attention.
“You were a fucking beast earlier, Lana. Did you like it?”
“Uhm, I think that it was terrific.” Her tone makes me question her honesty.
“Why are you lying?” I ask her, keeping her attention by not moving my body. She sighs, and I feel her anxiety all the way over me. Fine, I need to make her see that there is nothing wrong with what we did.
“If you would rather have me make sweet love to you, I will. If you want me to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk, I will. Anything you want, Lana. You are important to me.” In an instant relaxation emanates from her body. It’s like she needed to hear these words from a loving partner.
“Thank you, M. That means a lot to me. I never had anybody say that to me.” Just what I thought. I do something I have never done before; I blow her a kiss. Is this the kind of romantic shit people do? I guess so, because Lana blushes.
Mission accomplished, and now it’s time for her body to find some strength again.
“Let’s go to sleep,duso moja.” I grab my boxers and put them on. I motion for Lana to scoot across the bed so I can grab the covers. I lay down beside her with her back to my chest. I cover us with my silk sheets, and the second I do that, Lana falls asleep.
I stroke her face and give her a gentle kiss before I close my own eyes and dream about this evening.
23
Lana
What happened last night shouldn’t have happened, but it did. It was a lapse in judgment; I try to convince myself. Getting to know M wasn’t on my agenda. I miscalculated how incredibly charming he is.
Whoops.
To try to wake up, I pat the space beside me, and it’s empty. I pry my eyes open, and I notice that M isn’t here. Where did he go?
“I’m right here, Lana.” Can he read my fucking mind right now? I put a hand on my chest while I’m still lying on the bed. He is leaning against his doorframe, looking delectable in gray sweatpants and an MIT T-shirt. His hair is damp, probably from a shower.
At that vision alone, I sit up straight with my back against the headboard and the covers covering my legs.
