“Planting some flowers in my garden. When will I see you again?”
“At work in two days?”
“I don’t think so, I need to sort out some affairs in my private life. I’m actually thinking about leaving.” This comes as a surprise, but I understand. The workplace isn’t always healthy.
“Oh no!” I say loudly, and I hear him chuckle over the phone.
“I hope that’s okay with you, as I know that the place will fall apart without me.”
“Shut up, Emin. That’s completely fine. We’ll talk soon, I hope?” He laughs.
“We will, Lana. Have a nice workout!” And we end our call. Emin and I never crossed that line from coworkers into something more, and the reason for that is quite simple: I don’t eat where I shit.
Speaking of eating.
“I’m hungry.” Talking to myself always comes naturally. I get up, go to my kitchen, and look for the ingredients for a breakfast taco. In my breakfast taco, I put eggs, sliced avocado, and some veggies. After just a few minutes, I confirm what I anticipated: I don’t have the ingredients for breakfast taco.
“Will I ever have the right ingredients for something I crave? Stupid taco.” I slam the refrigerator door shut and grab a banana and a cup of coffee for breakfast. Some nutritionists would probably want to slap the shit out of me because I’m not eating something more well-rounded, and I don’t care. I’m so tired that this combination will have to do.
I go and sit on my couch, enjoy my coffee, and look out the window while eating my breakfast. I sigh because my life is an absolute dumpster fire right now.
My dad is not here.
My mom is dead.
I have shit jobs.
My apartment is one health code violation away from being shut down.
And a perilous man is hunting me down.
But one thing will never evade me, and that’s determination. I will fucking succeed.
I have to repeat that statement every single day to get what I want.
I have always been someone who plans meticulously and takes it step by step. A well-organized day keeps my fucking anger away.
That’s why I’m going to the gym right now, as exercise is the best medicine.
***
Evening has arrived as I’m walking to my car, and I have been in the gym for almost five hours. My dad always said that exercise is the best way to clear your head.
Fuck, I miss him. Even though I feel some sadness about his absence, it doesn’t negate the fact that he was—
I stop dead in my tracks because M is calling me.
“Who is this?” I’m being petty for no reason while a smile is creeping up on my face.
M isn’t mad, he is amused because his chuckle is low. “I’m impressed, little hummingbird. What are you doing?”
“I’m getting in my car because I have just been at—” and I’m cut off.
“The gym.” Before my keys hit the ignition, I drop them. That confirms my suspicion that he might be following me everywhere. How? I don’t know.
“How did you know that?” I ask despite knowing I won’t get an answer.
“Not important. I do have a question for you, Lana.” I scrunch my eyebrows as I didn’t see this one coming. Before I answer him, I start my car.
