Not wanting to pressure him beyond his comfort zone, I hadn’t brought this very topic up but I’d been hoping he would. It made me proud he’d brought it up now. “Definitely still stands. I actually have a binder of resources pulled together. You want to see?”
“Yes. Please.”
I retrieved my work bag and returned with a three-inch binder and set it on his lap.
“Wow, when I asked for next steps, I didn’t think you’d be presenting me with a novel,” Oliver said, the corner of his mouth twitching through his dry delivery.
Man, did I love when Oliver got all mouthy, glimpses of his true personality shining through. “Less novel and more choose your own adventure. I’ve organized it by categories andsubtopics so you can browse, skip, or ignore whatever doesn’t fit. We can go through it together, or I can make myself scarce while you look. Dealer’s choice.”
He looked at me for a long beat, then leaned into my side, his head resting against my shoulder in a way that I took to mean“Thank you, I’m still scared,”and“Please stay.”
He leafed through the binder, landing on the section regarding support groups and counseling services.
“This is where I want to start,” he said.
“Excellent. Group sessions can be a big help. You get to see parts of your own story in other people, and it reminds you you’re not alone.”
“Do you think I’ll be allowed? I mean, I’m a man and most of these programs were built because of the violence men have done to women. I... I don’t want to take up space that isn’t meant for me.”
“Yes, the groups listed here are specifically inclusive. Hurt is hurt no matter who it happens to. Nobody gets to decide you don’t count because you don’t fit the usual profile.”
“I’m scared everyone will see I’m a man and think I’m the threat, not the survivor.”
“I wish I could promise that won’t happen. The thing is, people bring their own baggage into those rooms. And yeah, sometimes folks react out of fear or assumption before they know better. Doesn’t make ’em right. You do belong. And if anyone says otherwise, that’s about their own stuff they’re workin’ through, not you.”
“I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
“I get that, and it says a lot about how conscientious you are. There are closed-group options where you might feel more comfortable.” I pointed to the tab. “They’re smaller, include the same people each week, and everyone goes through an intakeinterview with a licensed facilitator before joining. The only catch is they usually require a six-to-eight-week commitment.”
“I want to try the closed group. I think if I knew the people were going to be the same each time and it wouldn’t shift around, I might be able to talk eventually.”
“Solid choice. Tomorrow morning, we can call the center together, and I can sit right next to you through the intake if you want.”
“Okay.”
“I have another idea, if you’re open to it,” I said.
“What?”
“I know you want to build your own circle, and I’m all for it. In the meantime, I’ve got a low-pressure on-ramp. My best friend Ezra, the bartender at Opal and Obsidian you sorta met, and his boyfriend Micah, invited us to dinner. Salt-of-the-earth duo. Could be good to get out and be around humans, even if it’s still, like, me-adjacent for now.”
Oliver didn’t answer right away. His gaze slid to the window, then to the floor, then to his thumbnail that he began picking at. “Dinner with your friends? Do they um... do they know about...”
“I didn’t give them specifics. That’s your story to tell, not mine. Ezra knows a little, mostly from that night at the club when I used him as a decoy to keep Vincent distracted while I talked to you, but beyond that, they only know you’re staying with me because you needed out of a bad situation.”
He lifted a hand to his face, touching the fading bruises along his cheekbone, now a sickly yellow-green. “I guess it’s going to be pretty obvious once they see me.”
“Yeah, maybe. But they’re good people, and they sure as hell aren’t the kind of people to treat you like a trauma buffet. But if it’d make you feel better, we can pick up some concealer. I think I remember enough of the makeup tutorials from my sister tofake my way through. I’ll need some help with color matching, though, because apparently undertones are a science. Even I can join in the fun, then we’ll both come out looking fabulous.”
Oliver’s lips twitched. “You’d really wear it with me, wouldn’t you?”
“Absolutely. Some blush, maybe even eyeliner if we’re feeling bold. Full glam solidarity.”
The smile reached his eyes this time. Then it thinned, as he pressed his lips together. “You don’t... I mean you don’t mind me intruding?”
That was, no doubt, another one of Vincent’s cruel catchphrases.
“If showing up to dinner qualifies as intruding, I’ve been trespassing on Ezra’s property for years. Shameless repeat offenses of loitering, couch-napping, and pillaging his fridge. Trust me, this isn’t breaking and entering. You’re being invited.”
