It was both a lie and the truth. My body hurt in a thousand different places, but pain like that had become familiar; it was everything else that ate away at me. Being here. LeavingVincent. Fear. Relief. Sadness. I’d fallen asleep with Luke’s hand anchoring me, and now my own hands hovered in my lap, restless and unsure where they belonged.
He got up from the chair, arching his back in a slow stretch, making his shirt ride up. The sight of the lines of his muscles had my eyes flicking away, trying not to think about what that strength could mean.
“I’m going to make coffee. Do you drink coffee?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“I can bring you a cup, or you can join me if you’re up to it.”
Choices weren’t something I’d been given much of. Most of my life, the “decisions” I’d made were reactions to someone else’s mood, quick calculations for survival. But Luke let me choose. Such a small thing, but it rippled within me, like he’d thrown a pebble into water and waited for the rings to reach me.
“I... I’d like to come,” I whispered. Any second now he’d correct me, tell me I’d chosen wrong, that I should stay in bed and not move.
“Yeah? Awesome. We can mosey on down to the living room. Moving around might do you some good, get the blood flowing.”
Pushing upright, I swallowed back a wince.
Luke took a reflexive step forward, but stopped before taking another, his hand moving to the back of his neck. “Do you need help?” he asked. Another choice, purposefully handed to me, one he had to bite back his instinct to grant me.
“Do I look like someone with dignity left to lose?” I said, my mouth getting ahead of my caution around him, like some old, half-forgotten instinct woke up and whispered I might be safe here.
“You look like someone who’s made the choice not to lose anything more than they’ve already had taken from them, and someone who deserves the choice to hang onto what’s left. Dignity or otherwise.”
Unprepared for his compassion, I froze.
“So, what’ll it be?” Luke prompted, his tone gentle.
“Help would probably be best.” The moment I said it Vincent’s voice slid into my mind.“Need someone to hold you up again? Pathetic. Weak. And you dare call yourself an adult.”
“You got it. It’s okay to need help. All of us do sometimes,” Luke said, extending his hand, silencing the criticism.
I’d prepared for the soreness in my body but not the dizziness that followed. My vision tunneled and my legs wobbled as I stood.
“Easy, I got you,” Luke said, his fingers tightening around mine as he steadied me.
“Sorry, a little dizzy.”
“That’s normal. Take your time. Lean on me if you need.”
I did, listing into his side as we moved down the stairs to the living room, which opened fluidly into the kitchen beyond.
“Make yourself comfortable.” He motioned to the sofa. “I’ll start the coffee and get breakfast goin’. Whatcha in the mood for?”
“Whatever you have is fine.”
“Do you like scrambled eggs?” he asked.
I couldn’t stop my reaction in time, my nose scrunched into a disgusted grimace. “I’ll be fine with whatever you’re having,” I amended, bracing for the punishment sure to follow for expressing my preference.
He shrugged. “I’ll eat most anything, but what would you like? Is it only scrambled eggs that get the thumbs down, or are you anti-egg in general? I’ve got pancake mix, cereal, and there might be some oatmeal somewhere hidden in the back of a cupboard, leftover from my last camping excursion.”
“I . . . I like eggs, just not scrambled.”
“Yeah, the texture’s not for everyone. I get it. What kind do you like?”
“Um, over easy is my favorite, I guess.”
“Well then, I'm gonna whip up some over-easy eggs for you. I got this on lock.”
