I nod and give her a reassuring smile.
With another nervous look at me, Grace joins Caden, and finally, I have the private moment I desperately needed.
Reluctant to look at the black screen, my eyes wander over the seating area and the dining table, then settle on the glass wall overlooking the sandy beach, glowing with the sunset as the tide rolls in. I have so many memories here with Mum, Dad, Dan, and Grandpa. But none of them trigger the one I need right now.
Why is it that they have hammered me like drums all this time, and now that I want to remember, I can’t? I tried to focus on my parents’ faces, replaying the parts of the accident I remember with clarity, my mind churning through the cycle, again and again. But I can’t place that voice.
My eyes flash back to the blank screen, hoping this will do the trick. My finger shakes so much; it takes me a while to hit enter.
The screen lights up, the video rolls, and everything inside me cracks.
It’s like my mind has been raided, my worst nightmare stolen and thrown on display, while I sit here, forcing myself to stare at the most agonizing night of my life—desperate for answers I should already know.
And yet the only missing piece keeps evading me.
How does Dan do this?Knowing what he does without knowing who it was? Only a few hours, and I’m already splintering.
“Fuck.” I pull the laptop shut, a scream building inside me with nowhere to go.
I was so sure that if I left Fort, returned to the environment everyone has been shielding me from, it would all come back to me.
Mason’s tortured face flashes in front of me.
I hurt him today.
Not because I used him or threatened him, or because I shot his friend. Because I left. That man will forgive me for anything, protect me from everything, and will cross every line, which apparently includes deceiving me.
It’s my fault.
He told me not to expect a grain of morality from him. That I will be disappointed. But a girl can dream.
Part of me still wants to rewind time and go back to the moment when I didn’t know the true horrors of my life. The happiest days of my life were in his arms, his…
Chest. Scars. Words. Dream. Mason. Dad. Blood. Glass.Bang.
My vision tunnels, ears ring, but I ground myself in reality. Iclutch the edge of the island so tight my skin gives way as the last missing piece of the puzzle clicks in.
Ping.
The doorbell rings.
My head snaps to the front door.
Every nerve in my body electrifies as I run to the lounge on my battered feet, images flashing through my brain.
“Close your eyes, Bean.” Dad’s voice is strangled as he grabs my hand, watching the man who’s hovering over my mother’s lifeless body. “No matter what, do not make a sound. You understand?”
“Dad… what?”
“Bean,” Dad scolds, beckons, begs, gripping my hand with failing strength. “Please. Swear to me, you’ll stay quiet.”
I did. I kept my eyes shut, holding Dad’s hand clutched in mine as the man walked over to the side of the car. I swallowed the scream when I heard the gunshot that tore open my world, not letting a sound escape. Not even when Dad’s hand shook in mine, then went still.
I didn’t see that man. But I heard him. Two words in a voice I recognize far too well but couldn’t place until now.
“Grace, don’t!” I yell across the room, but she’s already opening the front door, and it’s too late.
Jonathan walks in, followed by Jack.
