I spend way more time than usual on my pre-shoot grooming and prep. I use my trimmers to clean up my body hair a bit, but hesitate before removing the stubble on my face. The way Riley was rubbing his face against mine like a cat at one point the other night makes me think he liked the feel of it. I decide to stick with just detailing the mustache and leave the stubblealone. I tell myself that the only reason I’m not going totally clean-shaven is because I want to make Riley feel comfortable on his first shoot.
I’m ready and waiting when the town car comes to collect me, and knowing that Riley is already in the backseat has my heart thundering behind my rib cage. The car has barely rolled to a stop before I’m yanking open the door and sliding into the seat next to a beaming Riley.
“Well good morning, sunshine. You ready for this?” I grin back at him and clap him on the thigh right above the knee, squeezing lightly. The feel of the hard muscle beneath my palm settles the butterflies in my stomach, as if they recognize him and relax in his presence.
“I was born ready for this.” His smile is nearly blinding in its brightness now. “Have you seen the comments on our Fanboy posts? I can’t believe I already have thirty subscribers, and I haven’t even posted anything yet!”
“I can believe it. But whatever you do, stay out of the comments section. You’d think that people who pay for access to you wouldn’t be heartless assholes, but you’d be wrong.” Riley’s eyebrows pull in a little in confusion, his smile fading. My heart lurches at the loss of its warmth, and my gut immediately sours. I shouldn’t have said anything. He deserves to be excited about today; he doesn’t need a jaded old cynic bursting his bubble. I give his thigh another light squeeze and a pat before reluctantly releasing him. “Don’t worry about any of that today. Just try to relax and let me take care of you.”
“Well that shouldn’t be too difficult,” he teases, a breezy smile gracing his beautiful face once more. “I’m the one getting a full-body massage.”
Nathan had decided on staging a massage scene in his warehouse studio, insisting that we would have the right kind of chemistry for such an intimate vibe, even on a first shoot. He’sthe expert, so I didn’t protest. And I’m not about to argue against any excuse to have my hands all over Riley’s body.
“So, any advice for my first day on the job?” His tone is playful, but the way he reaches over and covers my hand with his and toys with my fingers tells me he’s still a bit nervous.
I consider him for a moment. It’s been such a long time since my first day, and things are completely different now than they were back then. There is so much more freedom in what we’re doing today than I had when I had to audition for studios in those early days. Now I have control over the final result, and even though I won’t be editing this video, I know Nate would never make Riley look anything less than stellar for his first shoot.
“Just relax as much as possible,” I say finally. “Try to forget that the camera is there, even though Nate will be directing us at times. Just focus on me, and on letting me make you feel good. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Do you remember your first shoot?” he asks, looking down at where he’s slowly twisting my fingers between his own.
I whistle under my breath. “Oh man, that was a long time ago…things were a lot different then. It was through a studio I can’t even remember the name of…they don’t exist anymore. I had to, like,auditionfor it.”
Riley makes a choked little noise of surprise. “Audition?! How do you audition for porn?”
“Well, there aren’t a lot of clothes involved, and you’re in a room with your potential scene partner and a bunch of studio execs. It’s awkward as fuck, and they expect you to get hard and come on command. Luckily, I was eighteen and pretty much horny all the time, awkward or not.”
Riley’s eyes are saucers now, and the way he’s gaping at me makes him look even younger than his twenty-four years. “You wereeighteen?”
“I was. That’s a story for another day, though.”
“Sorry.” He winces. “I didn’t mean to be nosy. I mean, that’s…it’s none of my business.”
I give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Hey, no worries. I don’t mind telling you about it, really. I just don’t want to think about it right now. I’d rather focus onourshoot today.”
He smiles wide at that. “I’m really excited,” he admits. “I’m excited that it’s with you.”
Why does that make my heart melt a little? There’s a primal urge rising up from somewhere I didn’t even know existed inside me, whispering that I need to protect him at all costs. Whatever it takes. Which is ridiculous, because the kid is clearly perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He doesn’t need protecting; he’s already proven that just by taking the leap and moving out here on his own. He kind of reminds me of myself in some ways…that’s all it is.
I give him a small, reassuring smile in return.
“I’m glad, too.”
6
RILEY
We pull up to a pretty decrepit-looking warehouse, and if I didn’t know any better, I might be a bit concerned about getting murdered here. But any doubts I have are quickly relieved when Nathan St. James emerges from the old building to greet us, rusty metal doors clanging shut behind him.
Tall and wiry, with coiffed blond hair, a silver hoop in his left nostril, and a camera in hand, Nathan looks every bit the artist I imagined him to be. His rumpled button-down shirt, skinny jeans, and combat boots give him a slightly disheveled, hipster look that works for him. His sharp features and dark cobalt eyes make him seem almost ethereal.
“Riley Cunningham, so nice to finally meet you in person!” Nathan exclaims, reaching out to shake my hand. His soft, British accent takes me by surprise, and I realize I’ve never heard his voice before. “Thanks so much for agreeing to teach this old dog some new tricks.” He elbows Luke teasingly and waggles his eyebrows at his friend.
Luke rolls his eyes and shoves him back, and the whole exchange has a practiced feel, as if they’ve done this exactnumber at the start of every shoot they’ve worked on together. “You’re not that much younger than me, fucker.”
Nathan leads us inside and down a dark hallway to an open room with limewashed brick walls and oversized rectangular windows that give the space a stunning natural glow. In the center of the room stands a massage table lined in soft linen sheets atop a large faux fur rug covering the chipped concrete floor. The whole vibe is very industrial chic spa, and I can already see how Nathan is going to make the space come alive with beautiful angles and artistic lighting.
“You can both get undressed over there,” Nathan says, gesturing to the far corner of the room where there are curtains strung up like a department store fitting room. “Take your time, I have a few more test shots to do. Luke, start with your pants on. There’s a robe for Riley in the changing room.”
