I like her already. Her dark hair is pulled back into a loose ponytail, and she looks chic and comfortable in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. She’s short and feisty like her mother, but has the same steady presence that her dad and Riley exude as well. It makes sense that she works in human resources, and I can only imagine how protective of Riley she must have been when they were younger.
We all settle back into the living room to wait for the pizza, and I’m happy to observe quietly as the family catches up, laughing and joking together as if they haven’t been apart for months. This is usually the sort of situation where I would feel like an outsider, or feel the pain of missing out on this when I was a kid, but I find that I actually enjoy being part of it without being expected to engage or put on the spot to answer questionsabout myself. Riley has scooted a bit closer to me on the loveseat and has pulled one leg up under him, his knee pressed against my outer thigh. There’s something so reassuring about how relaxed he is and the contact between our bodies, simple as it is. I feel a little silly now for being so worried about this. I should have known that Riley would never purposely put me in a position where I felt exposed. As we eat pizza on paper plates in the living room, I can’t help but feel…content.
After we finish dinner, Whit takes Riley into his office/home gym to show him the new weight bench he found at a local garage sale for cheap last weekend, and Nancy goes to put away the leftover pizza and double-check all of her lists for tomorrow, leaving me alone in the living room with Amanda. She moves to the loveseat, sitting cross-legged and facing me.
“I never would have believed Luke Larson would be sitting in my parents’ living room,” she teases. “I’m glad you decided to come. Riley would have been insufferable if you hadn’t.”
“Really? Why do you say that?”
Amanda snorts and leans back against the arm of the couch, studying me. “Oh, trust me, my little brother is down bad for you, my guy. And I can see why.”
“I think he’s just being nice,” I say slowly, my brain working a million miles a minute. I’ve barely processed my own feelings for Riley…I hadn’t considered that he might have feelings for me, too. I’ve hoped so, and Jess seems to think so, but I don’t think I really let myself believe that he could.
“I promise you he’s not,” she assures me. “Rileyisnice, and he’s always made friends wherever he goes. But the way he talks about you…the way he’s absolutely glowing just having you here…I know my brother, and I think if you don’t make a move soon, he probably will.”
I’m stunned speechless.
“Look, my brother has never been shy about going after his dreams,” she continues, leaning forward and lowering her voice so her parents don’t overhear from the kitchen. “Obviously you know that, given that he’s moved across the country to pursue new…business endeavors. He knows what he wants, and from where I’m sitting, he clearly wants you. I don’t know you, other than what Riley has told me over the last couple of months. But if you’re not in the same place as him, you need to let him know, because he does everything with his whole heart, and I don’t want to watch it break over someone who doesn’t feel the same.”
I swallow hard and nod. I want to tell her that I am very much in the same place, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him, but the words won’t come.
“What are we talking about in here?” Riley’s voice floats over my shoulder, and I jump as he leans over the back of the couch between us.
“Oh, you know, just stuff,” Amanda says breezily, nudging at me with her toe and winking. “Right, Luke?”
Riley narrows his eyes and looks between us suspiciously. “You’re both terrible liars, you know that?” He straightens and looks at his watch. “Anyway, we better get going. It’s getting late, and I’ve been up since four this morning. You ready, babe?”
We both freeze, our eyes locked. He’s never called me that outside of the bedroom before. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Amanda’s eyebrows rise and a knowing smile spread across her face. My brain has gone completely offline. I think I dissociated through the whole goodbye fanfare with his family and the drive back to the hotel (concerning, since I was the one behind the wheel).
Was that just a slip-up? Or was Amanda right about Riley’s feelings for me? He’s silent on the drive back to the hotel, but not in an uncomfortable way. Other than asking what side of the bed I like and if I leave a light on when I sleep, he remains quietas we climb into bed, too. I’m itching to ask him about it as he turns out the lights and settles in with a sigh, but I don’t want to make things weird. He doesn’t seem bothered by it, and I guess I shouldn’t be either.
But damn, Ireallylike that he called me that. It’s normal in our work to throw around the words “babe” or “baby” with partners, but suddenly, I’m running back in my mind to see if I recall him saying it to Dante or Benji.
I don’t think he did.
And that makes me feel really fucking good.
19
RILEY
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be hungry again after Thanksgiving dinner yesterday.
The entire day was a whirlwind, just like always. The house was packed full of family and friends alike, and more food than we could ever eat, even with so many people. My mom always goes all out for this holiday, and the phrase “the more the merrier” has never been more applicable to anyone than my mom. She loves the idea of an entire day devoted to gathering together and showing appreciation for one another, and half of the fun of the holiday is seeing how much joy it brings her. Other than myself, Luke, Amanda, and my parents, my mom’s brother and sister both came with their spouses, as well as my cousin from my dad’s side, and two couples that live in the same cul-de-sac as my parents. The wine was flowing, and the laughter was abundant.
Once his initial nerves wore off and he was introduced to everyone, Luke seemed to be having a great time. He and Mandy and my cousin Sara hit it off instantly, forming a chatty little trio in the corner for most of the afternoon. Sara is a professional dog trainer and had a million questions about Aggie, and Lukewas only too happy to brag about his girl. We successfully sidestepped any questions about our jobs or the nature of our relationship, although a sweet, sleepy side of Luke started to come out after a few glasses of wine. The way he rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes at the end of the night didn’t exactly scream “just friends.” If Mandy’s smirk was any indicator, I don’t think we were fooling anyone by that point.
After an entire day of food, card games (where a competitive side of Luke I haven’t seen yet came out in full force), and nonstop conversation, my social battery was depleted by the time we got back to our hotel. Luke had sobered up hours before, but the soft, sleepy look he gave me from the bed (where he immediately made himself comfortable before even changing his clothes) had my heart doing something funny in my chest.
He really is an incredibly beautiful man. He forgot to pack his razor, so the stubble along his jaw from the previous day has grown into a short beard. It’s a good look on him; although, honestly, I think anything would be a good look on him. His eyes, normally a dark mahogany, were a light amber in the low hotel light, and he was so relaxed that the small wrinkles around his eyes that I adore had all but disappeared. He watched me as I moved around the room carrying out my usual bedtime ritual, a tired little grin fixed upon his lips.
I managed to convince him to get up and change into his sweats to sleep, and was just making myself comfortable when he returned to bed and slipped in beside me. I could sense his hesitation even in the dark, as if he wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure how. “Did you have a good time today?” I asked instead, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, I did.” My eyes weren’t adjusted to the darkness, but I could tell he was facing me from the direction of his voice.
“Good.” I couldn’t help but smile to myself. “You looked like it.”
“Thanks for inviting me.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but the emotion in it was palpable. This was probably the first time he ever spent a holiday with a family where he actually felt included, and the fact that I was the one who could make that happen for him was monumental.
