After a minute of scrolling, I run across the perfect match. “Got him,” I say, snapping my fingers and passing my phone over to show Riley the photo.
“Holy shiznit, that’s the prettiest man I’ve ever seen,” Riley gapes.
My eyebrows shoot up. “Shiznit?What the fuck is that?”
He laughs and flicks a potato chip in my direction, which bounces off the counter and is gobbled up by Aggie before it even hits the floor. “Don’t make fun of me! We weren’t allowed to swear growing up so my sister and I came up with creative alternatives sometimes. It’s hard to break the habit. I don’t really swear much.”
I smirk. “Except when you’re getting railed on a massage table.”
One corner of his mouth curls up into a seductive little grin. “That’s right, babe.” Hewinks,and I think all of my insides just melted. “So who is this guy?”
“That’s Dante. He stays pretty busy because, well, he looks likethat,but we go way back to my studio days.” Riley isn’t wrong; Danteisprobably one of the prettiest men alive, with his golden eyes, full lips, and long, silky black hair that always seems to be cascading around his shoulders in waves like he’s in a goddamn shampoo commercial. His androgynous look and air of absolute confidence even has straight guys turning their heads. “Thirty-five, bi, and a very considerate top. He’ll treat you really well. He’s got about half a million followers by now, so working with him would cast a nice, wide net for you.”
“Hey, if you’re vouching for him, that’s good enough for me. So how do I do this? Do I just message him and hope for the best?”
“Let me text him,” I say, already in the middle of typing it out. “We might have to wait a few weeks to get on his schedule, but we’ll see what he says.”
The message shows that it’s been read almost as soon as I hit send, and I only have to wait a minute more before he hits me back. I pump my fist in the air when I read the reply. “He says he’s in. He’s pretty booked, but he had something fall through, and he’s free three weeks from now. What do you say?”
Riley grins. “I say let’s do it.”
11
LUKE
If I thought Riley was texting a lot before, that’s nothing compared to the last couple of weeks. Ever since that night after his collab with Benji, we’ve been messaging nonstop. He’s even come with me on my morning beach run a couple of days, and having the company has been extra motivating. I always want our time together to last as long as possible, so we end up running longer on days he comes with me.
One morning, we were out early enough to see a colony of sea lions sunbathing in the morning light on some rocks, and Riley laughed and pointed out a particularly fat one that he said looked just like the dog his family had when he was growing up—a pit bull named Jello. “You named your dog after sugar-water goop?” I laughed, doubling over as he shoved me and told me to shut up, that he had been five when they had gotten her. He and his sister Mandy had agreed on the name.
I can’t help but grin stupidly when I check his Instagram and find a new photo posted of the sea lion from that day with the caption: “Jello. #IYKYK” and a winky emoji. It makes me absurdly happy that his sister and I are the only ones who follow him who do know.
I’m not a regular coffee drinker, since I don’t care for it black, and I try not to drink my calories when possible, but I do indulge in an iced coffee every now and then. Today, it’s a need. Caffeine has the opposite effect on me than it does for most people, calming me down rather than amping me up, and I need something to settle my nerves. So, Aggie and I loaded up into my Jeep and hit up my favorite local coffee shop this morning. The baristas fawned over her and gave her a little cup of whipped cream with a doggy treat on top, and I’m pretty sure she would have been perfectly happy if I’d left her there to be spoiled forever.
I dropped Aggie off at daycare while I was out, and now my coffee is gone, and I’m cleaning my bathroom as a distraction.
I’ve been equal parts excited and nervous for today. On the one hand, I can’t wait to see Riley again, and other than running into one another at a party and maybe briefly catching up over a drink, it’s been ages since I’ve seen Dante as well. He and I are both total tops, so we’ve never done a scene together, but since we’re close in age, we were put up for a lot of the same parts by the studios we worked for, so we got to know each other pretty well. He’s a great guy, and I know Riley will be in good hands with him…but every time I think of the two of them together, something unpleasant unfurls in my gut.
I don’t think I would call it jealousy, exactly. There’s nothing to be jealous of. Riley isn’t mine. Neither is Dante, for that matter. No one has ever really been “mine.” I’ve never met anyone who would be worth the hassle of committing to, or who would want the hassle of committing to me. In my line of work, it would have to be an open relationship, or at the very least someone who’s totally cool with me sleeping with other people for my job. And most of my scene partners are just coworkers. I’m not interested in dating coworkers, and while I’m friendly with a lot of them, none of them have ever really become goodfriends either. But something about Riley has felt like more than coworkers from the start, and I’m not sure what to do with that.
I scrub at the toilet a bit harder than necessary, considering it’s only been a few days since I cleaned last. Jess keeps asking me to let her hire a housekeeper for me, but I’ve always been a neat freak, and the idea of someone else cleaning my house the wrong way is more unpleasant than just cleaning it myself. And besides, I don’t actually mind cleaning. It’s relaxing for me. Like right now.
I’m not sure what I’m worried about happening later. Am I concerned that Riley will hit it off with Dante? That they’ll become friends and Riley will want to start hanging out with him more than me? That doesn’t seem right, because I’m not in middle school and I’d like to think I’m a little more mature than being worried that the other kids won’t want to play with me anymore. I didn’t particularly love seeing Riley’s video with Benji (which wasn’t quite as well-received as ours, but did well, and both of them made decent money off of it), but I think that had more to do with Benji than with Riley. As his friend, I want to see Riley treated like the prince he is, and in my opinion, Benji didn’t hold him in high enough esteem. But that’s not my call to make, it’s Riley’s. I just didn’t like seeing him distressed afterward.
That’s all it was.
Moving on to the shower, I ignore the little niggle of doubt in the back of my mind.
Dante rented a house on Santa Monica Beach for the collab. The same beach Riley and I have run at a few times. It’s a bit of a drive from my condo, but the views are worth it. Dante found a rental with floor-to-ceiling windows in the bedroom, and I could tell just from the photos that it’s going to make for some stunning angles.
I’m nowhere near the videographer that Nathan is, but over the years, I’ve watched and learned and sat down with Nathan more than once to watch him edit, listening eagerly as he explained his thought process during the shoot. I’ve always been interested in capturing moments in life on camera, whether that’s still or motion. Since I’m limited on what content I can post on my social media by time constraints and censorship, I don’t get many opportunities to film freely like this—as an observer and not a performer.
I’m looking forward to it. Really. All that stuff earlier was just overthinking.
As I pull up to the house, I see Dante’s truck already out front. No sign of Riley yet. Killing the ignition, I grab my camera and head straight inside.
“Luke! How are you, you old dog?” Dante greets, hopping up from the couch as soon as I push open the front door.
Dressed in baggy cargo pants and a black tank top, Dante looks good. His tan is permanent from too much sun, and he’s practically glowing. I think, not for the first time, that his skincare regimen must be intense. Haircare, too. His blackwaves are wild today, akin to a lion’s mane more than anything. The man is the definition of beautiful, and the industry has been good to him for it.
