Her hand tightened in his. “So much has happened tonight, I didn’t even think about that.” She opened her eyes and faced him once more. Her chin lifted and a hard glint sparked in her irises. “You believe me?”
Guilt pressed down on his chest like a weight. Mickey had been through hell the last couple of days, and he’d only added to her problems. “Yes. About all of it.”
Tears filled her eyes and she drew in a wobbly breath. Shaking her head, she said, “You’re right. Staying at my place isn’t a smart move.”
He squeezed her hand before letting it go and reaching for his keys. “Good. Do you want to ride with me? Driving might not be the best idea right now.”
Taking a deep breath, Mickey squared her shoulders and shook her head. “I’ll need my car to get to work tomorrow. Just don’t drive too crazy, and I should be able to keep up.”
Excitement ran through him at the thought of Mickey sleeping in his apartment, but he pushed it away. She needed a safe place to stay for the night, and nothing more. At least that’s what he told himself as they walked toward their cars. The memory of her touch burned his skin. He had a fifteen-minute car ride to get his head on straight. Even if he believed Mickey was innocent, she was still off limits. He suppressed a groan.
Nightmares of what they’d found tonight wouldn’t be the only thing keeping him awake.
15
Graham opened the door to his apartment and ushered her inside, his hand pressed to the small of her back. Exhaustion weighed down every muscle in her body.
She needed a shower and she needed sleep, but fear lingered in the forefront of her mind. No doubt ghosts waited to greet her as soon as she closed her eyes. Images of Becca, cold and afraid, waiting for someone to help her. She blinked the thoughts away. At least for the moment. She glanced around. His apartment was small, but nice. Granite countertops and gleaming hard wood floors enticed her forward, and she traced a finger along the smooth surface of the counter that jutted out from the wall, separating the kitchen from the living room.
“Why don’t you have a seat, and I’ll make us something to eat?” Graham nodded toward the backless stools in front of the granite peninsula.
“I’m not hungry.” Food was the last thing on her mind, even if she hadn’t eaten in hours.
“Sit down anyway. I’m starving, and you need to unwind a little before you go to sleep. Trust me, if you don’t try to let someof what happened tonight leak from your mind, it will just make things worse.”
His gentle tone prodded her to sit down on the stool. Mickey settled her elbows on the hard surface and held her head up with her palms. Her gaze followed him around the kitchen as he grabbed leftover lasagna from the refrigerator and heated it up. Despite her earlier refusal, he grabbed two plates and slid the warm food under her nose and then took a seat beside her.
The combination of garlic and oregano was too tempting to resist, and she grabbed a forkful of food and took a bite. “This is really good.”
“I’ll let my mom know you think so. She tries to make sure my freezer’s always stocked with something to heat up.”
A smile touched her mouth. “That’s nice. I wish my parents lived close enough to do that. Not like I’m home much anyway.”
“They don’t live in Chicago?”
Mickey shook her head. “No. They live a few hours away. Close enough to visit when I get a chance, but not close enough to supply food on a regular basis. I moved here when I started working for the airline.”
“How long have you been a flight attendant?” Graham stood and grabbed two bottles of water, setting one by each of their plates, and sat back down.
The food sank to the pit of her stomach and mixed with the fear that had taken residence there. Mickey dropped her fork and stared at him. “Really? That’s what we’re going to talk about right now? I don’t think I can sit here and pretend like I didn’t just walk away from a living hell.” She hated the way her voice shook, but she couldn’t stop it. The dam was about to burst, and she didn’t care.
Graham set his fork down and twisted to face her. He cupped her cheek with his hand, and she closed her eyes and leaned intohis warmth. A tear slid down her cheek, and Graham used the pad of his thumb to wipe it away.
“I know this is hard, but the best thing you can do for yourself right now is try and think about something else. Just for five minutes. Give yourself a small break so you can get your head on straight.”
Opening her eyes, she sucked in a deep breath and focused on the tiny specks of aqua in his gray eyes. She could do this. Blinking away the moisture on her lashes, she said, “I’ve been a flight attendant for six years. I studied political science in college, and when I couldn’t find a job my friend and I decided to work for the same airline for a few years. We figured it’d be a good opportunity to see the world before we settled down with our careers. We fell in love with flying, and haven’t thought about quitting yet.”
Graham nodded, the side of his mouth hitched up in a half smile, and he dropped his hand from her face. A rush of cold air slid against her now-bare cheek, and she wished like hell for his touch again. He kept his gaze locked on hers, as if he understood she needed that connection to cling to in order to stay calm. “It’s good to do what you love. Makes a tough job easier.”
“Does loving your job make it easier to deal with the horrors you see every day?”
“It will never be easy to see what I see, but it does make it easier to keep showing up. I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
“When does it become too much? When do you get to the point where you’ve seen too much, witnessed too many bad things?” She couldn’t help but ask the question. Graham might think talking about her job and other mundane things could help her keep it together, but nothing would. What she needed was his calm reassurance that he was going to find Becca.
Graham shifted in his seat and glanced down at his half-eaten pasta. Silence lingered between them, and she sensedsomething brewing inside him. Something he wasn’t willing to share. She wanted to press him, but she was desperately trying to keep her head above water in a lake of her own emotional turmoil. Whether it was fair or not, she couldn’t handle some else’s baggage right now.
Clearing his throat, Graham lifted his gaze to hers once more and shrugged. “The day it becomes too much is the day I need to find a new job.”
