He’d been the most tense she’d ever seen him the day of their wedding, because Enzo had promised Evelyne to General Vinyes. Alex had blamed himself for that, for not seeing it coming. So no, he wasn’t a pro in his own mind.
Evelyne smiled reassuringly. “That just means you need to be patient with him.”
“Perhaps,” Ines said, diplomatically because she did not thinkpatiencesolved the hurt on his face. She did not know how towaitfor something to change when it was clearly a deep-seated trauma.
Evelyne grabbed her hand. “Don’t give up on him. He won’t see it, wouldn’t admit it if he did, but he needs you.”
Ines let out a long slow breath. She wished she agreed, but she wondered if it was quite the opposite. If by loving him and having his child, she was making everything harder on him.
The ache in her chest settled deeper, tears battling it out again. She would do anything to make life easier on him, except… Except she was pregnant with his child. Their child was growing and would be here eventually. She could not sacrifice all their child might have for Alexandre’s comfort or ease. No matter how she loved him.
Which meant she had to findsomeway to get through to him. She forced her mouth into a slight smile. “I won’t give up on him,” she told Evelyne reassuringly.
Now she just had to figure out a way to getthroughto him.
Chapter Ten
ALEXANDRE KNEW HEcould ignore Ines’s missive. He was not beholden to meet her for a walk whenevershewanted. Even her list had acknowledged thathewas the one who determined the time.
But he had skipped lunch and dinner with her. He’d convinced himself it was for work. The work he’d neglected becauseshehad upended his morning.
She needed to get it through her head that he was a king first, second and last.
He would tell her that now.
Outside the sun was low in the sky, the air getting cooler. The gardens were an explosion of blooms and chirping birds. He never took walks in the garden—who had the time? There had to be a reason for such things, and the last time he’d had a reason was when he’d been wooing Ines.
But now she was wooed. The end.
He thought of the way she’d recounted their first meetings. Shehadblurted out that she liked birds, in a kind of desperate rush. It had eased something inside of him. Ifshewas nervous but willing to take on the mantle of his bride, then… Well, it couldn’t be so bad, could it?
So he’d endeavored to make her feel better about it. And she had held on to that kindness as some kind of sign that he was good…
There is only good in you if you make it, Alex.
There is no good in you. I will make sure of it.
He wanted to press his hands to his temples and squeeze the old voices away with it. He had not thought of those early days in some time. Did not allow himself to remember, wallow.
And the only difference in his life between all these years of shoving that turmoil away and having it live in his damn head wasInes. He did not blame her for his weaknesses. That was hardly fair.
But he blamed her for existing. For somehow reaching into his psyche and bringing those turbulent times back to the forefront. When his parents had argued, violently and viciously.
Over him. Used him as a pawn. A weapon against each other. And love with it.
In so many ways he had been some kind of linchpin in their marriage. His existence had caused problems. His mother’s love for him. His father’s love for her. She had not wanted that second child, had not taken care of herself because no matter how much she’d loved Alexandre, she’d known children were the death of her marriage.
Sometimes he wanted to believe that he’d been so young he’d simply misunderstood the things his mother had told him. He’d confused things.
But he knew he hadn’t. Love had been a bludgeon—and so he’d been used as one. And where had that gotten any of them? His mother dead. His country in turmoil. So many mistakes he now had to set to rights.
And Ines would dare claim she wasloving him. Ines was now convinced shelovedhim? No. Something had to give.
Loving you is such a curse for us all, Alexandre. I am so sorry.
No, he would not go back there. His mother had died years and years ago. His father was dead. There was no use reliving the past. There was only the future—of Alis.
He walked through the garden, growing more and more irritated he couldn’t find Ines, when her message through his assistant had said the north side of the garden. The side of the garden he avoided. Did Ines know that? How could she? He had certainly never told anyone what he avoided or why. He rarely even thought of it.
