She stared at him, looking at a loss, and he finished quietly, ‘So you were right. I really was just afraid, and I let my fear guide me.’
She opened her mouth and closed it again as she gave a little shake of her head. ‘Thank you for explaining,’ she finally said, her tone so formal that Nico had a sinking sensation it was all too late. What he said no longer had the power to make a difference, and he couldn’t blame her for that.
And yet neither could he let her walk away, not without saying what was in his heart. Not without finally being truly brave, as she’d been brave…even if it didn’t make a difference to her now.
‘I don’t know if it matters now,’ he told her with a crooked smile, each word coming with painful care, costing him something, ‘But I am in love with you. I behaved like a stupid ass, and I don’t have any right to ask for another chance… But I want you to know, at least, how I feel. That I fought it and lashed out and pretended I blamed you, but…you were right all along. I was falling in love with you. Iam,’ he corrected. ‘I amfalling in love with you.’
Saying so much felt horribly revealing and yet, in an oddly good and liberating way, like a bandage being ripped off, the wound finally feeling the healing freedom of fresh air. ‘Before I heard about the money laundering,’ Nico explained, ‘I was going to tell you about that night. About Roberto. And…that I was falling in love with you. And then the money became the excuse not to risk saying any of it.’ It was so obvious to him now, but it hadn’t been back then. He hadn’t let it be.
‘Oh, Nico.’ Ashley shook her head, and Nico’s heart sank. Itwastoo late. ‘I’m to blame, as well,’ she whispered. ‘I was so determined not to repeat the old patterns of trying to please, like I did with my father. But maybe it made me stubborn, too stubborn—’
‘No,’ Nico said quickly. ‘You were right to act as you did, Ashley. I was the one who was to blame.’
‘Well, we both have a lot to learn, maybe,’ she said with a small smile.
Nico could hardly dare hope. ‘You mean…’
‘You already know I’m falling in love with you,’ she told him with a shaky laugh.
‘I thought you might have stopped, considering the way I behaved,’ Nico admitted, his voice filled with tenderness and choked with emotion. ‘But I’m very glad to learn you might not have.’
‘I couldn’t have stopped, even if I wanted to,’ she replied, brushing at her eyes. ‘But, the truth is, I didn’t. I came here today in part just to see you again.’ She managed a wry smile. ‘Telling you about the money was really just an excuse.’
‘We’re very good at finding excuses,’ he murmured, his heart overflowing with love—and thankfulness.
‘So what now?’ Ashley asked, looking far more uncertain than Nico wanted.
‘Now,’ he told her, ‘I think I take you in my arms and tell how sorry I am. And also, how I’ll probably still be scared and do stupid things… but I want to try. With you. For you.’
And then he did just that, took her into his arms and, as she tilted her face up to his, he kissed her, the seal of the promise they’d made to each other so many years ago.
Everything really was a redemption.
Epilogue
One year later
IT WAS Afamily barbecue, Brooklyn style, in the yard of the Brownstone in Park Slope that they’d bought after they’d been married two months ago. Ashley stood at the window of the kitchen as she watched Nico’s two nieces run around the yard. Her gaze moved from that happy sight to the even happier one of his mother sitting in a folding chair, looking nervous and uncertain, but there.
Over the last year, she and Nico had worked hard at reconciling with his mother. It had involved a lot of painful conversations, and many tears on both sides, but finally Nico’s mother was speaking to him. She’d admitted that she’d blamed him because she couldn’t bear to blame herself, which was what she really had done. Healing, Ashley reflected, was such a gift.
An even greater joy than that was her own mother’s presence in their home. Nico had insisted he hire a full-time carer so her mother could live with them, and Ashely had been so very glad and grateful. It wasn’t all easy, but it was wonderful, and maybe that was how all of life was.
‘I think we need more burgers,’ Nico announced as he came into the kitchen. He was master of the barbecue and clearly enjoying the role. Ashley loved seeing him like this—so much lighter and happier, as if a heavy weight had rolled from his shoulders. And one had rolled from hers as well. Together, they’d both been able to escape the regrets of the past and face a future.
A future that now involved more than just the two of them…
‘How are you feeling?’ Nico murmured as he came up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist, his fingers splaying protectively across her abdomen. ‘Still nauseous?’
‘It’s getting better.’ Ashley leaned her head back against his chest as she revelled in the simple moment. In seven months’ time, they’d welcome a son or daughter into their lives. Nico was already fiercely proud, Ashley incredibly grateful.
She had so much to be thankful for, not least that she was still working for Infinite Innovations and would be until she took maternity leave. With new investors, the company was going from strength to strength…and had escaped the long shadow of her father’s reputation.
After having been denied parole, her father was still in prison, which was both a sorrow and a relief.
‘You’d better get those burgers,’ Ashley murmured. ‘People look hungry.’
‘I’mhungry,’ Nico replied, and nuzzled her neck.
She laughed, tilting her head to give him greater access. Even nine weeks into her pregnancy, and feeling tired and hormonal, she always welcomed his touch. She could always be sure of his love…as could he of hers.
Ashley twisted in her husband’s arms and wrapped her own around his neck to give him a proper kiss. ‘Later,’ she murmured against his mouth, and reluctantly he detached from her.
‘That’s a promise I’m going to take you up on,’ he warned as he got the burgers out of the fridge.
‘It’s a promise I’m going to keep,’ Ashley replied with a smile and, laughing, she strolled out with her husband into the sunshine of a new and wonderful day.
