He said, ‘It has eaten away at me, the guilt of pushing them away. Losing contact. My brother is busy, he’s now CEO of the company. My sisters…they have their families. The gulf has grown and it’s my fault.’
Cassie offered, ‘It’s on them too but it’s easy to let distance grow. Especially if they think they might be rejected.’
Knowing she was straying way into the no-go zone, she couldn’t help asking, ‘You really don’t ever intend to have a family?’
This time Ares gave her an explicit look and said, ‘Your food is getting cold.’
Cassie smiled and obediently took a piece of ravioli. It was delicious. When she thought Ares was going to ignore her question, he sat back and said, ‘Why would I have kids when I have no idea how to parent them?’
Cassie put her head on one side. ‘I could have the same attitude but I know that I want to do things differently. I don’t want my children growing up in a domestic war zone and I want them to know they’re loved, and…seen.’
‘You didn’t feel seen?’
Cassie shook her head. ‘Caius was the focus, the heir. I think my father saw me like an ornament. He didn’t know how to relate to me. My mother was too busy hating him and having affairs. As I got older I think she looked at me and saw herself ageing.
‘When they were really going for it, during one of their many arguments, I’d do everything to try and distract them. Be as bright and happy as possible…’
Ares shook his head. ‘It didn’t work because they were so selfish they couldn’t appreciate what was in front of them.’
That caught Cassie right in the heart where she’d always had that sense of being on the other side of a glass wall, unable to make anyone hear her, or see her.
‘Theos, Cassie. Come here.’ Ares took her hand and tugged her out of her seat and pulled her into his lap. Her silky dress was a flimsy barrier between her and the steely heat and strength of his body.
She looked down at him, heart tripping. His hand was on her bare back. ‘No wonder you blasted me with your sunshine when we met. It’s your defence and offence mechanism.’
Cassie scowled but inside she was turning into mush at his far too accurate assessment. ‘What can I say? Your snark gave me permission to display my true self.’
Ares looked serious. ‘I was afraid I’d dim your brightness.’
Cassie’s heart skipped about a million beats. She shook her head. ‘No, you couldn’t do that.’ He’d given her something far more precious. A sense of who she really was.
Ares said then, ‘There’s another reason I never intended to have a family. I don’t want to pass my dyslexia on to a child.’
Cassie wanted to reach out and punish his parents for being so awful and cold. ‘Even if you did, it’s not an affliction, it’s just a different way of learning. I think it’s an asset.’
‘Anyway, it’s not something I’ll have to consider. My brother will have kids.’
Cassie felt like pushing back at Ares’s certainty he wouldn’t be complicating his life with a family but then she thought of him with someone who might have the power to change his mind and make him want things he’d never considered before. A cold weight lodged in her gut, because she was realising thatshewanted to be the one who could change his mind.
The curse of every woman everywhere who had been told in no uncertain terms by a man that they were not interested in commitment but who fooled themselves into thinking they could be different. Or, worse,the one.
Cassie assured herself desperately that Ares had been her first lover, that was all, it was normal to feel emotions attached with sex. It had been a pretty profound experience.
Ares was not someone who wanted to step into a lifelong role of duty by a woman’s side. Where he would be required to sire children to further the Mansur royal line. He was a lone wolf. And this was just a brief moment. And the fact that she was even thinking of him in those terms made Cassie lever herself off Ares’s lap and back to her seat, forking some ravioli into her mouth before she could say anything else.
Ares just looked at her, as if he had her measure, but she really really hoped he couldn’t see into her head because if he did he’d be running so fast in the opposite direction she’d have whiplash.
Cassie woke the next morning to a warm breeze over her bare skin and the scent of sea and pine and lavender. Scents that reminded her of home, but she knew she wasn’t in the palace.
For one thing, she didn’t sleep naked. And for another, she wasn’t used to waking feeling achy but satisfied on a bone-deep level.A soul level.She let her mind skitter away from that far too revealing revelation. There was a much earthier smell, the smell of sex. She focused on that and smiled.
‘Do you evernotsmile?’
Cassie’s eyes flew open and she was looking at an expanse of toned ridged belly muscles above the line of sweatpants. She dragged her gaze up to where Ares was sitting on the side of the bed.
Cassie’s face got hot. Last night she’d lived out her fantasy of having Ares spread out for her very thorough investigation.
‘Kalimera,’Ares said, with a very wicked glint in his eye, as if he too was remembering how she’d let him do the same to her, exploring every dip and curve of her body until she’d been begging him for mercy.
